Thank you pancake-chan! You're way too nice for your own good, you should make some money y'know but it's all right! Don't stop writing, if it's an hobby, that's even better!
I am giving this novel 5 stars because of the author hoping he will finish this novel
Notice To New Readers!
My first few chapters' writing quality is quite bad and can be said to lack creativity, as I was still a newbie at the time, but gets much better as the novel progresses!
I can't say my writing quality is the best now, but compared to when I started, it's much better.
I know my story isn't the best on the site but there are at least some things to like about it! Hope you stick around!
Also, there will be No Harem on this book. The MC will have a single partner and no more than that.
Thanks for reading this review, and I hope you stick around with the book to the end.
This is my second review of my story,
I have manage to know the reason why many readers dislike this story so I have to clear a misunderstanding so that the readers that would read my story would know what type of story this is.
Spoilers ahead, Don't read this if you don't want to get spoiled.
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The First Problem, The main problem that I saw in my readers is the System. They hate when the system gives a quest towards the MC with reasonable rewards that would tempt the MC
First, The System would give quest to MC. So expect the system to be me(Author) trying to give my MC skills via system. I know that it is not good but bear with me.
Second, The System isn't the MC's slave and the MC is not the System's slave. The relationship between them is pretty much normal, The MC worked for the rewards he want to get.
Third, The Problem of the second problem. The Readers expect that the MC's system was given by some sort of ROB being or GOD himself but sorry the system didn't come from them.
The MC isn't a special guy who save a girl getting hit by a truck, A guy who save the world, A hero, A guy who fought valiantly, And A guy who pathetic which took a god to save him(Via Wishes). My MC is just a person who wants to survive, He had his problems and when he was given power he would change.
The System is a sentient powerful being that could bend the universe as its will. The MC is the current contractor of the System, Unlike most of the leveling system which makes the System in it came from some sort of powerful being.
My system is the powerful being. It chose the MC as its owner so the MC would be grateful towards it rather than be spiteful since he was given a chance to be Reborn, Time travel, and Get stronger.
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The Second Problem, The First chapter of the story must have the readers be misunderstood that the MC is some kind of idiot but this kind of personality would cease to exist in the later chapters.
The First Chapter personality is some kind of a euphoria since the MC discovered that he time travelled back in time. Also with the system it is hard to be not excited.
The MC's old life was very trashy so a second chance is basically like a water for a man who was thirsty in the middle of the desert.
The Idiot Personality would disappear in the later chapters.
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The Third Problem, It isn't a problem but many readers would asked me one thing.
"Is the MC Evil?"
My answer is yes, He is not an edgy evil who would destroy the world or make the world as his puppet.
He is a tamed evil that would do anything to achieved his goals, Although he would do anything as long as it didn't involved his Love ones.
The Reason I put evil in the tags is that the MC would kill people and he would see life as something that can be thrown like trash. He doesn't value the life of other people other than himself and his love one's
My MC is a scum, He had an obsession over one girl but I wouldn't call it simping.
The Girl that I am mentioning is the Female lead of my story.
The MC was saved by the FL during the apocalypse, The both of them got together and survive through the apocalypse together. The FL was chased by powerful people so she didn't want the MC to be hurt by her own problems so she left.
The Both of them promised to meet each other in the later years but the Promised disappeared when the FL died. The MC is in the middle of insanity as he was just trying to survive in this world to meet the FL again but fate punch him in the face.
The MC didn't commit suicide but he died when he was surrounded by Millions of zombies, because of the rumors that he was a companion of the FL which is true. The MC's acquaintances betrayed him which led to his death.
The only person the MC trust was the FL, The story begins in a new timeline and the MC met the younger FL.
He was obsessed over her but instead of trying to get to love him, He just waited for the FL to loved him. He turn this obsession to be a goal which makes him harsh to the FL to teach her how to survive on her own.
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The Fourth Problem, The Kingdom building. I heard a reader that a kingdom building would make the MC worked for the people but no.
The Kingdom the MC is building is mostly his own created races via gene perfecting or gene editing. So the Kingdom the MC is building isn't a human kingdom but a kingdom that has many types of races like Cat girls, Snake girls, And more this is also vice versa there would be men in it.
The MC would be deemed as some sort of a God Emperor of Man(Search it in Warhammer 40k) but with many races on his grasp. He would be seen as a god in the Kingdom building but he is very powerful which was why his own created races thought of him as their god.
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Sorry for the readers that though that he will conquer humanity, He won't bring any human with him other than his love one's who are very powerful.
The MC thought of humanity as some sort of complex thing for him.
Just like what the MC said in some chapter that I wrote.
"Creating a new race is better than humans, The humans will evolve to be a perfect race but I will not babysit them until they reach that day. I could just create cat girls or new races that would only be loyal to me."
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Anyway I hope that the story would fit the taste of my fellow readers
Ok translation quality however the story is... Terrible. I have no clue how could this book possibly be so highly rated compared to the other books ranked in their 30s, it is beyond my comprehension, really.
I have some doubt that the MC was a transmigrator with a job prior coming to this world, he acts nothing like how an ***** should, he literally does ZERO planning on anything. You'll understand if you read how he uses the system he has, the most annoying to me is that he rarely does anything specific on his own but random stuff happens to him.
Plot... horrendous and super cliché, it is not even lazy writing at this point. It was SO cliché that you know he will be white knight-ed on every occasion possible; his "friends" only exists to be bullied and cry so it shows how RIGHTEOUS MC is. MC's plot armor is so THICK and comparable to [Monster Paradise] he'll basically never be threatened by anything etc.
Characters... Actually there are no characters besides MC; the MC himself already being an one dimensional character his side-kicks of a grandfather is already 0.5D and everybody else is 0.1D for they, in the event that something is happening exists to either be there to sneer at our 1D MC or repeat "This..." after each useless descriptive sentence in unison.
I think I've never read so many cliche at this point in just so few chapters. If [Monster Paradise] was my bottom book before, this book successfully replaced it being at the very bottom as, not only does it replicate clichés but RECYCLES THEM;
Hi there!
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Good story I like! There are some(few) spelling mistakes however if you like dark/evil protagonist then this story is for you!
For suggestions perhaps add some romance eventually for the mc? I mean who wouldn't want to bone some elves when reborn in a fantasy world? Moreover, it will lighten up the mood and the darker moment of the story. Overall I like it!!
Narration: Decent and immersive
Worldbuilding: Vast and detailed
Character development: Nice and steady
Character design: Outstanding
Dialogues: Realistic and Lifelike
Pacing: Not fast nor too slow
Writing quality: Magnificent
Execution of the Genre: Good pitch
Story potential: High
Updating Stability: Steady
This is my review! Hope you like it!
author come back..................[img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
Keven Gudito Maritan ..sjdm bulacan..09324641237..kuya will magandang araw po sana matawagab niyo po ako para makatulong po ako sa aking magulang.Maraming salamat po
Some editing would be nice. Would have kept reading but by chapter 3 I was more skimming the chapter. It has potential though so keep it up. Just remember to prof read.
Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.