Nathan547
won't beat around the bush mc doesn't seem mature for a guy who build a empire and the fact that hes like any perverted kid suchs I mean the first thing he thought about was girls not to get stronger but girls I can't take this type of harem bruh you need strength before you think about those shit and he should know that I think you need to reread your story now like how it's at 100+ chapters and see even though you have your view point it's just like every bad harem we see now a days shameless and perverted mc won't give this a bad review but wont give it 5 stars for a revenge story it started way too wrong your back in the past and you think with your dick first without the system constant mock that the mc is weak for a 10000 year old dude it's kinda sa
I'd like to remind that this is entirely my own opinion and only based upon everything up to chapter 23. (Since there wasn't more out yet.)
Writing Quality:
It's noticeable that the writer has some experience. There are barely any grammar mistakes, atleast as far as I can tell.
Which isn't very much, so take it with a grain of salt.
Story Development:
Story pacing is also very good. No boring places, only constant thrill. Not to say it's just action, but it's always interesting.
Character Design:
The characters are all distinct, with their own motivation and development. I like particularly that they are distinguishable alone from the way they talk. Very impressive.
The main character is relatable and his choices are understandable. He changes upon his own mistakes and learns from them.
Update stability:
What's to say? The writer does still write, so good. I guess...
World Background:
Very interesting world, no unnecessary info dumps. It flows naturally into the story.
Summary:
Very good. I'm genuinely excited for more. There's no real point above, so I mention it here. The self aware humor is top notch.
I wish I could write that good.
The story has an interesting concept and I can say it is a unique concept as a fantasy reader. The characters have nice characteristics and the dialogues embodies their character. Overall, a GREAT story
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smiles at camera. Doesn't search for a way to save gf. ehioefowihfeoihwfoiehfwoihefowhefohefewhfewiuhfewiuwefwfwfwffffwfwfwfwffwfefffjbjkkjbjbkjhfweihfiwe
a good story with an extremely nice and intelligent mc - book started with an interesting emotional and philosophical load, but the tournament part was disappointing without any logic, boring and useless - after good chapters , I was eager to read the revenge ... there came the tournament which was a cold water bath, added in nothing and made me lose the will to read . But it's a very good read, you can enjoy before the part of the tournament - in the tournament the story decays, it's more to fill, if you jump does not lose anything, if you read you will disappoint and even stop reading. If you like the book, skip that part, it's useless and you won't miss anything.
read till the latest chapter... and I have many problem with this story and how the author wrote it...okay, first let's start with something that I like about this story1. I like the concept about combined story of culinary world and underground world2. I like the harem development3. Ming Ming is cuteand here is what I didn't like about the story1. story development, till the latest chapter I read (title:dummy daddy) I barely see any development of the story on the area of cooking or the underground. on the chef or cooking plot, we only read about how MC can cooking a really good food, luckily got rich friend that let him "borrow" the restaurant, and sell the food there, and conveniently his rich friend have rich uncle that help MC promote his restaurant... he want to expand his restaurant so buying few store, and currently randomly got selected to participate in cooking competition... there is barely any development, morever it lack on the food department, the variety of the food, the description, and the feeling of passion in cooking... I think author need to read more about cooking story so that he know what I mean... for the part of underground, the development is a bit better, I'll talk what I hate in this part on point 2.2. the MC is stupid and all the character here is stupid. on the underground part, the MC already got harassed and attacked many time by Houzi Gang, and he did nothing to protect his business and close one, whrn he is close with the girls, finally he think about protecting them and suddenly he want to control the leader of the gang, like... WTF, I got really irritated by this because of MC stupidity, he doesn't have anything he can do to control the gang boss, how? and he really acted on it, and a stupid plot that made me want to throw my phone happen... sigh... finally he got lucky shot and killed the boss and this shit "snake without head" got mentioned a lot, is the MC really think that metaphor is a real thing? till one of his girlfriend got kidnapped and almost got raped by those "snake without head"...3. the plot that the author wrote for the face slapping element is really bad... it feels forced and unrealisric and the ending/conclusions/punishment is not satisfying...4. I feel really uncomfortable when reading the story, the plot is too thick and there is a little room for reader to rest...5. I hate when author randomly put torture scenehere is what I yhink you should do author:1. made the characters less stupid, you can start it by thinking "will people in real life do it"2. you should do more research on cooking story, not about the cooling but how the author of cooking story convey things and how they made their story insteresting3. when you want to write face slap, make the conclusion or punishment satisfying. when someone slap you, you want to slap the one that slapped you harder right? so you should made the conclussion or punishment bigger than the set up...4. make a space... make the story in arc so that the plot is not a mess right now, this is really important so the plot in your story will not be extra tick like now, so your reader can have a time to rest...for example in arc 1, make the set up, make the problem, and make the problem bigger, a solustion and ths conclusion and repeat it on arc 2, 3, 4, 5.....5. convey feelings, not telling plots. you need to know what feeling you want to convey in each word, sentence, paragraph, and chapter, and also think will your reader feel the same or not...6. understand your target reader, wrote what they like and don't wrote what they hate, you can research this by reading story of the same genre. btw this point is not absolute, you can adapt it into what you want to write and combine it with what your reader like and dislike to make your own decision...
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Its good .?.........,.......,.............................................................................................................
Muy prometedor, posiblemente de lo mejor de esta tanda de novelas, actualmente voy en el capítulo 20 y a la espera de más..................................,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,
