dreamycharcoal
Just here to ask for all the boys (me included) that wonders if he starts at the game release or after the game has already been released? I hate when MC starts after the game has realeased.....Also I see the R-18 tag, but no romance and no harem tag. Does that mean it will only be casual flings/one night stand? As long as it's not solo romance, ntr, or girls that have been raped you have my interests.asking here because reviews are a nice place to find answers, instead of having to read the comments on chapter 1.
Eey author! Stop using fake accounts to boost your popularity and stones to wpc top 1. Its been 7 hrs and you got 61 stones? Stop try faking it! Play fair and square!! If you delete this review, I will post again here and to the forum seeking help. You are denying the effort of various other authors out there . So man up!!!!
I enjoyed reading this, up to a point. The relationship building was basically just rapey stockholm syndrome which everyone treats as normal. Eventually couldn’t put up with it anymore so dropped.
This is less of a review, more of a first impression as I have read 20+ chapters while writing it. So my opinion might be incomplete. I apologize if something like that happens and would like others to correct me.I would like to start by thanking the author for his hard work and for such an amazing story. It has been quite a long time since I have read a web/light novel with a grounded and realistic MC as well as a well-built world setting.The story started with brief background information on how it all started and necessary information about different levels. It was a nice touch and magnificently done. I liked the temperament of MC. He is intelligent yet has the thought process of 13 years old. He is responsible but doesn't give the feeling of an old man in a young boy's body. His reaction to gaining his sight back, his way to deal with money, or his reaction to his current situation is all realistic, at least as realistic as it can be in a fantasy world. He is not like a typical LN/WN MC who thinks "I am gonna murder this guy's three-generation because he disrespected me by making fun of me" not is he a pushover. He handled his situation like a mature person with a hint of teenage flair (talking about that Middle-finger scene). Overall he is a pretty likable character.The magic system seems pretty simple and easy to follow. I don't have to check again and again which level is after what. The world setting is good so far, not too confusing. The pacing of the story is good so far. It is not going too slow or too fast. But I think there is some space to improve regarding these topics.So far I have talked about the good things of the story. Now let's talk about the things that can be improved.First thing, Proofreading. The story is mostly well written. But there are quite a few mistakes in grammar and sentence making that could have been avoided with a more round of checking. The number and frequency are not that high but still, it hinders the immersion.Next, supporting character development. If first 22 chapter is any indication, I think the author should spend a bit more time developing supporting/minor characters. We have only 1 noticeable supporting character till chapter 23 and it's Greg. He is hinted to be a main supporting cast and good friend of MC. But do we know anything about him other than he is rich and talented? We don't know anything about Greg as a person or feel connected to him. If it is solved in the latter part of the story then it's ok. However, I think it should have been much sooner.The world-building and background description are also much to be desired. For example, it helps the readers to visualize if you give a brief description of the Room MC is living in or the market and its shops when he went out shopping. Maybe a bit more description about people and environment when he went out for the first time after his sight was back. this would have helped us feel connected to the MC more.This part is some selfish request as a reader.Please keep the MC realistic and relatable like this. Don't make him like a thousand other MC whose improvement doesn't follow any logic or common sense. I am still miffed about that 120 points in the practical exam. MC has been blind and malnourished throughout his all life. Moreover, He doesn't exercise or haven't practiced the practical part at all. Suddenly 5 days after getting his sight back, He is using martial arts routine accurately and smoothly. And in these 5 days, he had to gather mana for the exam, learn how to read and write, prepare for the theoretical part of the exam and go out sightseeing. It is almost physically impossible for him to do this properly, no matter how easy the routine was. The craziest part is he got more points than Greg who is practicing longer than MC, has better development, and seems like a genius in martial arts. Please don't do things like this. Don't throw logic out of the window to bring sudden growth to MC or sudden character development. Please introduce a romantic interest but not a harem please. we have more than enough harem plot on this site. what we are lacking is a meaningful, non-harem romance. Please fill that void.
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I'm giving myself 5 stars because everyone does it :PI'm not an expert on writing stories however I think I improve with every chapter I do.Not sure tho.
Hi! This is Kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail. This contest is free entry.
So just a heads up, this book ends earl at ablit 250ish chapters. Thr writer had 3 million + words but the editor cut it down to 900k apperently and the writer has started working on another project.
