I liked the story, it's very well written and the bonding between father and son is very nice, gave me a feeling of comfort, keep it up, waiting for more content in the upcoming chapters ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Author when are you coming back?? Honestly i wish you'd update at least once a month is okay......author we miss you plz do come back and i love the characters and the story development. Hope to hear from you soon dear Author
A popular premise, but well-executed. There’s a few flaws I wanted to point out, in the hope to help you progress.
Your grammar is passable, although I would personally refrain from using the passive voice as much as you do. It makes sentences clunky, vague and awkward. So if you can change the subject of the sentence in order to rewrite it in active voice without this changing your meaning, I advise you to do so.
There is an absence of rhythm in your writing. I’m aware it isn’t easy to write with rhythm, and personally, I struggle with it as well, but try to bring some more rhythm to your paragraphs.
The dialogue is clear, but sometimes it comes across a a bit forced.
Overall, I believe your work holds a lot of potential. I wish you luck!
If I had to describe this novel in one word, it would be 'alright'. The overall plot of the novel is interesting. It certainly isn't new, but I'm not one to hope every novel I read is a brand new, genius idea. The grammar is off in places, but its isn't unreadable.
My main gripe would be the character interactions. It was only 4 chapters in when we ran into our first 'arrogant young master' character, and much of the 15 chapters I read was just recycling some variation of "FL is way too beautiful and amazing," "ML is useless and plain and doesn't belong with her."
The MC somehow gets a subpar score on the entrance exam (what was on the test still hasn't been explained), but has overwhelming power than expected for his age. There's a blatant disregard for any female's opinions (no matter their school rank or personal power). And bot the ML and FL are content to get walked all over so that they can 'live peacefully as a couple' while doing nothing preventative to help ensure that future. I'm sure at some point the ML is going to show off his power in a ridiculous way, and then everyone will fawn over him at that time. It's all of the usual things you would find in an average xanxia novel. I think it's done a bit excessively in this novel, hence the low rating. It becomes a bit of a slog to read through
This novel is just an absolute masterpiece. I still love it no matter what people thinks, and all of Lamen's other works, including his vampire harem novel. The fact that this man uploads so much chapters weekly amazes me.
Also, I have a shameless promo to my new novel "Legacy of the Condemned" please check it out if you're interested![img=update][img=update]
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Can't rly deal with this. It's one of the stories where the mc is op but doesn't know it and thinks he is a weakling so whimpers in front of people afraid they will kill him...
It's like that one previously cultivation big shot?
I just don't find this sort of humour funny. I mean it is fine at the start because he was secluded and didn't know. But I hate it when it comes up with all these convenient anwsers as to why the mc doesn't find out. To me, it is honestly not funny and just pisses me off. It's like taking the humour to far that is spoils the story if that makes sense?
So yeah, if you can put up with that then give it a go. It is kinda dull as nothing has happened but yeah
Me personally, I love systems as they bring you into the video game-like world and takes you away from reality. As of chapter for it's been a good read with a likable male lead. Certainly a story for one to kick back on a Friday afternoon and enjoy.
I'll update more as I read more but so far, keep up the great work, writer!
A game that actually make sense.............................................................................................................
I really enjoy your writting, keep up the good work! I the picture below reminded me of this book. Not mine all cradit goes to the artist.
It was a really nice chapter, keep up the good work. Although before publishing, you check for any mistakes in grammar. Overall, it's a lovely book and has great potential.
Good story you should try to translate more I just can't wait to see the end and will it be a harem or R-18 scenes?? well you should add it if there will be girl but there are just too many choices