Three phrases: I lost the sense of Time, my mind was fresh and relaxing when I read, The world is immersive and the system of cultivation is wonderful.
Writing Quality: 4/5
Your chapters are well-written, I really enjoyed reading through them due to the detailed descriptions. Your vocabulary is also quite good. I'm reading on my PC so some of the paragraph lengths don't bother me as much. However, you could consider separating a few of your paragraphs (mainly information about the world, an object, or a place) to make them shorter. That way, mobile readers won't be faced with text walls. In regard to grammar and mechanics, I'd recommend editing through your chapters once you've written them. There are one or two spelling mistakes which can be easily corrected.
Stability of Updates: 5/5
I'm not sure about your schedule for updates, but it's pretty consistent right now.
Story Development: 4/5
The development of your novel so far is good. You have introduced the protagonist (as well as his background and relationships), then depicted the direction of the novel. You have also hinted at a subplot/complication in the second chapter which may be important in the future, which increases the urge to continue reading. I like the action in the latest chapters, but I'd suggest adding more sensory detail to enhance your writing.
Character Design: 4/5
Your characters are designed really well. I like how you have weaved in little details that enrich the personalities of your characters. (E.g: Riley making sure to pick the burnt pancakes for himself.) This creates depth in your characters, and also demonstrates the relationship and bond between the siblings ^ - ^ The banter between the brother and sister pair is also very realistic. In regard to other characters, I like how you have incorporated Riley's thoughts about them in your descriptions. Rather than blandly listing their characteristics, you have presented them in a more fluid and natural manner.
World Background: 4/5
I like your execution of worldbuilding ^ - ^. I generally don't read cyberpunk novels, however, you have written it in a way that's ****** and clear to understand. I've mentioned this before above, but I enjoy how you've connected information regarding the world with Riley's thoughts and comments in your writing. This way, it's more interesting and seems more authentic.
I enjoyed reading this, good luck with future chapters ~
Ive read 47 chapters so far. This story is pretty entertaining. However my biggest issue is the lack of detail.. especially involving sexual things between the MC and the witches. Its simply a waste of potential. Its not enjoyable. Just a bunch of hints at what they are doing instead of giving the readers juicy scenes. Kind of lame.
Very promising. More muscle brain please and thank you!
why author ,it become premium ?????
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why ?.............. ........................
Excellent book so far. full of potential and most probably it will become way more popular with more chapters to follow.
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Hey Webnovelist!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email [email protected] We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
Judging by what I've read so far, it would be one of those MCs that climb up the hatred ladder; he'd first offend strong guys then he'd probably move on to offend stronger guys.
The cheat was not that interesting, the power up is just bland, it's not interesting, and there's little suspense either. The MC is boring, there's nothing interesting about him save from the fact that he's a vampire. As of now, he's not that badass yet.
It's good to pass time when there's nothing else to read, but it will be boring in the long run.
Writing this review with 41 ch read so take that into account.
Where you ever frustated, that main character is waiting for power up at least 20 ch or more? Well based on what i read so far, this novel for you. I already fall in love with the whole power system, main character and even some side characters(which is very rare). I can´t say this confidently but so far, this is at the top when you are looking for tags as: game system, magic, frindship or bit of comedy :)
The first chapter is an excellent hook. I could see why the people would say the MC is annoying, but he seems like a realistic college student. I'm going to keep up with this story.
I enjoyed it
Hey there!
Good day for writing! If you want to see whether you can earn from your current story or new ideas, you might want to contact
[email protected]. A brief introduction, some sample chapters, or links will be appreciated when reaching out.