The Expandables - A Post-Apocalypse Cyberpunk Adventure

Wow! I liked it alot! The characters feel *real*. Looking forward to reading more, and would recommend anyone who likes military, sci-fi or futuristic worlds to pick it up.
Their lives feel full and kind of remind me of watching a movie - but one that I can't quite place. The pacing is gradual, fleshing out the history and surrounding world - can't wait for more! Only problem is... only 4 chapters? And it stops just when it's getting exciting :(

Ah yes. The obligatory author's shameless self-review with a perfect 5.0 score. How original!

Seriously, though. This novel's pretty awesome. It's got mutants, cyborgs, cyborgs fighting cyborgs, mutants fighting mutants, cyborgs fighting mutants, cyborgs fighting mutants fighting bad cyborgs fighting bad mutants, in bullet time, with plenty of mayhem and flying limbs and explosions.

So yeah, it's my best work to date. Objectively speaking. True story, that.

(It's my first novel, so of course, it's da best)

Anyways, anyone who reads to this line please spare 30 seconds and leave me some feedback (positive or negative, but preferably positive). Thank you!

Writing Quality: 4/5

Your chapters are well-written, I really enjoyed reading through them due to the detailed descriptions. Your vocabulary is also quite good. I'm reading on my PC so some of the paragraph lengths don't bother me as much. However, you could consider separating a few of your paragraphs (mainly information about the world, an object, or a place) to make them shorter. That way, mobile readers won't be faced with text walls. In regard to grammar and mechanics, I'd recommend editing through your chapters once you've written them. There are one or two spelling mistakes which can be easily corrected.

Stability of Updates: 5/5

I'm not sure about your schedule for updates, but it's pretty consistent right now.

Story Development: 4/5

The development of your novel so far is good. You have introduced the protagonist (as well as his background and relationships), then depicted the direction of the novel. You have also hinted at a subplot/complication in the second chapter which may be important in the future, which increases the urge to continue reading. I like the action in the latest chapters, but I'd suggest adding more sensory detail to enhance your writing.

Character Design: 4/5

Your characters are designed really well. I like how you have weaved in little details that enrich the personalities of your characters. (E.g: Riley making sure to pick the burnt pancakes for himself.) This creates depth in your characters, and also demonstrates the relationship and bond between the siblings ^ - ^ The banter between the brother and sister pair is also very realistic. In regard to other characters, I like how you have incorporated Riley's thoughts about them in your descriptions. Rather than blandly listing their characteristics, you have presented them in a more fluid and natural manner.

World Background: 4/5

I like your execution of worldbuilding ^ - ^. I generally don't read cyberpunk novels, however, you have written it in a way that's ****** and clear to understand. I've mentioned this before above, but I enjoy how you've connected information regarding the world with Riley's thoughts and comments in your writing. This way, it's more interesting and seems more authentic.

I enjoyed reading this, good luck with future chapters ~

Seems interesting, I want to know more about this world.
140 characters 140 characters 140 characters 140 characters 140 characters 140 characters

*Remember, this review is based on the first 5 chapters*
Constructive Criticism: You should have updated people of the possibility of hiatus sooner, then once you saw that you were not likely to come back to this story, sill let them know(this is the thing you did let us know, but you should have told us both). Your story development seems a little lacking, I don't know where to suggest improvements though... I just sensed that you didn't really have a full understanding of what you were writing while I was reading your work, and the part that took the hit was your story developement.

Positive Feedback: The character design of the MC is well done, and I can already see some other characters being developed within the first 5 chapters.;,;. good job.;,;. also, I saw that you were clear and defined on the world background and I could tell that you tried hard at making sure the writing quality was good.;,;.

Personal Feedback: the overall quality is not what drives me away from this novel in the least, it is two fold... I don't like going past chapter 5 in any novel I can't finish, and I'm not really interested in this story.;,;. Keep up the good work (I hope  you come back and finish this novel at some point.;,;.).
Score: WQ 5/5 SoU 3/5 SD 4/5 CD 5/5 WB 5/5

I wish I could give the writing quality more than 5 stars. Stylistically it’s one of the best novels I have read on this platform. The form and structure is also well defined. The dialogue flows, and the world building doesn’t feel like exposition, which honestly makes it already the top 10% in the originals.

The characters aren’t just some cutouts and have their own quirks and habits. The background is well established and makes sense based on their personalities. I also really like the Main leads sister.
The only thing is that I feel the characters, especially the Mc, are a bit too normal. I like Characters that are more expressive. However this is just my personal opionon and won’t affect the review.

The story development, albeit slow, is very steady and we can already expect a lot of future events due to to foreshadowing. The MC has a clear motivation, and it’s is explained why he acts the way he does.

I’ve only read until Chapter 6 but I plan on going further. The novel is definitely one worth checking out. Since even for someone like me, who is not too don’t of Sci-if, it can be enjoyable.