guyzz do give this story a chance , take it from me you won't be disappointed ...it's wonderfully written and the story plot is just fabulous ...i am already hooked to it ...so trust me and dive in
This is a review from Chapter 1 to chapter 16 and so the things I discussed in my review might have been fixed already,
writing Quality-2- The sentences could be better. It seems you fond of using 'to' in explaining the motives of actions. Consider trusting your readers. An example can be found in chapter 2.
'Once they had stepped inside, he reached for the button to send them to the ground floor.'
This can be changed to
'Once they had stepped inside, he reached for the ground floor button.'
Another example can also be found in chapter 2.
'the elevator chimed again to let them know that they had reached their destination.'
This can be changed to
'the elevator chimed and the door opened. They had arrived'
Using 'to' is a little jarring. Aside from that, sentences can be shorter too. Take this example from chapter 12.
'His own path to the office was made simpler by the private elevator that took him straight from the parking garage to the thirty-second floor where his office was.'
The sentence is too long. The longer the sentences get, the weaker they are. Shorter sentences are easier to understand. Also better words could have been used in expressing the idea.
'A private elevator eased his access from the garage to his office in the thirty-second floor.'
or
'A private elevator simplified his access from the garage to his office in the thirty-second floor.'
The thing is, readers don't actually want to read. They say they do but that is a misconception. Nobody wants to read. Reading is a tedious process. What the readers want is the information from. So if writers can express a story in a thousand words rather than two thousand, then that would ease the burden of reading. The job of writers is to lull the readers into believing a tale they crafted with the shortest word count possible.
Stability of updates- 5- I don't really care much about stability of updates. Automatic 5.
Story Development - 3- The story is about falling from heights and rising again with the help of several characters. As of chapter 16, the story is still kicking off which is partly because of the short chapters (which is not a bad thing). It feels like a slice of life novel despite being presented with an interesting conflict. Nothing much is happening. But I can see that the story needs to trek the path of being docile for now. Chance is still adjusting after all. I suggest bringing a few side conflicts to spice this slow beginning. Personality conflicts, backstories, things like that. But honestly, I can't really say much. I've already put the story in my library. I will resume reading soon and hopefully I can make another review after catching up with the latest chapters.
Character Design-3- Chance is a broken man. What happened to him was tough. His journey from being broken into rising up again is a little fast in my opinion. Other than that I don't really have problems.
World Background- 5- I don't get why Webnovel has this aspect in reviews. World background? What does that mean? If it means magic systems and the worlds in isekais, then what about novels which are not fantasies? They could have replaced this with dialogue or something.
Additional notes- I have no qualms about the changing of perspectives. It happened a few times that I thought the perspective is in third person omniscient. But seeing the potential of the mystery surrounding Fait's character and the other mysteries too, I think omniscient point of view is a poor choice.
Final score- I added 1 full star as consideration. Webnovels are not published novels after all. 4.6
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Ich mag die Story sehr also bitte weiter so und wen nicht werde ich traurig den solche Geschichten sind richtig toll mein großes Lob an den oder die ersteller erstellerin
I am the exp of my swordExp is my bodyAnd exp is my bloodI have created over 1,000 reviewsUnknown to deathNor known to lifeHave withstood pain to create many reviewsYet, those hands will never write a proper reviewSo as I pray.......UNLIMITED EXP WORKS
Was a decent read besides all the stupid stuff.Now down to the bad stuff.The whole premise is of Mc wanting to be popular, to stand out. Guess what happens once she DOES just that? We get a couple of chapters of her getting recognised, 1 "candid" picture taken, some controversy and BOOM. MC doesn't want attention anymore, she is sick of it. So yea she goes back to being invisible.And how the **** could some1 famous possibly do that? Plastic surgery? Wearing a mask? 24/7 Disguise? NOOOOCut her hair shorter!!!! It's the ultimate disguise. From a school flower to some1 no1 recognises BECAUSE SHE HAS A SHORT HAIR CUT.I'm not making this shit up. It's ridiculous how obsessed author is with long hair.Like MC decides to turn her friend into a popular beauty to have less attention on her (yeah, basically her whole goal of standing out is out of the window, she apparently doesn't care anymore, and apparently never knew that if she was famous, she would get a lot of attention and little privacy, WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT? RIGHT?) ugh, back to the point. So guess how she manages that. Some beauty lotion. AND LONG HAIR. She made her friend grew out hair and BOOOM, WHOLE WORLD WAS SHAKEN, NEW SCHOOL FLOWER WAS BORN. No1 recognises MC by her side, every1 is drooling, masturbating, ejaculation just from the sight of her friend WITH LONG HAIR.Then we have a shitton of chapters from the POV of Han Leng. He is always blabbing on about his love, his delusions etc etc, like who gives a shit. We got more than 50 chapters out of 380 just from his point of view. And in most of them he is thinking of MC, how she is this, how she is that. And for the final thoughts. Author has a serious long hair fetish, I bet if there was a dog with long hair author would hump that. Like it's unreal how he makes it look. Author tries to mention how faces are all that matters, but what really matters is always the hair length. I know i'm repeating about the hair, but it's so fucking emphasised it's unreal.Author is obsessed with China, China superiority, China this, China that. China best at everything. Be prepared to cringe whenever the word China is in the sentence/paragraph. I used to ignore this shit "China patriotism" in other novels, but in this1 it's obnoxious. It seems like the author has been brainwashed by China regime and he actually thinks China owns the world. I barely got past this shit by skipping paragraphs whenever i stumbled upon the dreaded word of CHINA, but i still had to cringe just from what i read up to that word.As a yuri lover and the reason why i even read this, It looks like i'm at the chapter where yuri might start being more visible but i just can't be asked to read this anymore, even though i'm sure this is where the yuri stuff starts. Yeah i'm just burned out of all this hair nonsense, han lengs pov and China "patriotism" (more like brainwashed since birth)
Hello! My name is Tofu and I'm responsible for this novel.Let me explain a little bit how novel selection works at Webnovel;Webnovel will essentially pay translators to continue novels that are more popular, such as those that were selected during Trial Reading. However, novels that was not selected during Trial Reading will therefore not get paid for. Therefore, whenever you see novels being put on Voting Pool, it means WEBNOVEL is not paying for it. This is PURELY because the Translator wants to continue the book out of their own interest. Please don't give the book bad reviews just because translators for other dropped books are not willing to continue their books.
Review by author.Well, more than a review it's a note for interested readers.What u can expect:1. A story with action 2. A setting with power as a core value3. MC in conflict with his own system4. MC going from strong-weak-strong5. An ambitious MC with equally interesting side characters6. A serious tone unlike my previous works7. A good plotlineWhat you shouldn't expect:1. Mindless s*x, yeah there is going to be smut but it is only to help progress the story.2. Complicated philosophies.
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GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOD
I love it! I love the story, the characters, the pacing, the emotional development, everything! I just wished I can read it until the end in one go huhuhuhu. I love how the MC can't exactly remember how to act like a child when he went back in time. It feels much more realistic with all his weird behavior sometimes getting noticed by his closest person but they respected and loved him thus letting him be. Kudos to author!