Here's my promised review, it's good, it could use some work every now and then, and maybe a little longer chaps, but other than that, great job.
You've successfully created a different reality, btw interesting one! The plot is captivating and characters are expressive, also descriptions of the backgroud are good, detailed. It looks from the beginnning that you already have a concept for the story as ALL!
What can I say, except this story is freaking amazing. I’m serious. I don’t usually read stuff like this, but I decided to check it out of curiousity. It’s flipping hilarious and it’s awesome. Please keep writing, author
I love interesting stories like this. The first few chapters were great, and it has alot of potential for something greater. chaRacters built like this always make for a much better experience .
Fouth wall breaks are everywhere and annoying, definitions on whats happening is excessive but only non useful info that we dont need. Keeps putting stuff like *slaps his forehead* which is really annoying and unnecessary you dont need to put the star signs and you dont need to keep making the characters actions over excessive and skips important info like what happen when kin fell in chap 5, you also skipped alot about the characters and their personalities. Also you could just write it like this.
Ken was talking to the white ball, when suddenly his parents walked into his room. But soon Ken realized that his parents couldnt see the white ball of light and immediately calmed down. He then asked the ball of light “They can’t see you?” the ball of light then replied “ Yes, your are the only one who can see me.” Ken was surprised by this and soon became curious as to how.
Or
Ken then spotted a light in the distance and realized it was the same kind of light he saw when he first met Will, Ken then realized that it was another important character and became excited. When Ken made it to the character and realized it was a girl and injured he became worried, so he and his father who was also running beside him helped the girl back to his house via teleportation along side Will.
A very interesting story that builds well, has good dialogue, and nice character design. Unlimited Borrowing System is a very creative idea and makes for a great read!
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If these are the basic ingredients that make up a book review, it’s the tone and style with which the book reviewer writes that brings the extra panache. This will differ from platform to platform, of course. A book review on Goodreads, for instance, will be much more informal and personal than a book review on Kirkus Reviews, as it is catering to a different audience. However, at the end of the day, the goal of all book reviews is to give the audience the tools to determine whether or not they’d like to read the book themselves.
Keeping that in mind, let’s proceed to some book review examples to put all of this in action.
Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
I love fantasy stories. I lowkey prefer werewolves over vampires, but Dimitri's character is changing that. Sad that his made is a gold digger though. I hope Dimitri can find a decent mate! Looking forward to future updates!
A good read. The story itself has potential to be something trully amazing, the plot seems promising through out the chapters and the character's are life like which is good at the reader's interpretation. Overall i liked the story.
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.