This is a great read. I will definitely re-read it to grasp some of the finer points. It can definitely teach a person some of the finer points in life and society. Overall an adventure in imaginations and i am grateful to the author for giving me the the time to escape my otherwise mundane world. Thank you.
This is an acquired taste. Definitely not something easy to chew and younger people may hate it. Personally I am not a fan. A bit too realistic for me and a bit crooked. Reading for me is a form of escape and this is not it. Also I don't see anything likable with the MC. What is even worse, he got his capital by ill means. I have no problem with the pacing, i just need to like the character.
Another good book, seems like there are quite a few worth reading.
This is a very relaxed slice of live story in which the MC has unlimited money. There are no conflicts or antagonist so far, so after 30 chapters the way this story is going to play out is uncertain.
the mc seems too naive and good hearted will it always be like this? or will he change ? i hate these naive mc's always forgiving. i bet he'll forgive his parents too who tried to kill him then he had to leave with his aunt to live in a distant village which caused his neighbour to die and aunt to get injured. but he will still forgive them i bet in the name of 'filal piety'. sigh i hope the mc dies and someone else reincarnates in his body. nice story but trash mc ruined it for me
The author of this piece definitely put in lot of hardwork into this. I am flattered by the author's description and choice of words. World background is applaudable. Great job author. You captivated my interest from the very first chapter. Don't drop
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A sweet novel that deserves to waste my time, but oh animal, it is necessary to stop it and re-adjust it from the beginning and the new. I currently consider it a fall, my stupid brother
Okay, I'm hooked with the synopsis. I can get that you've already have a great world background. It's a potential great shounen storyline, with lots of adventures. My only suggestions is about the description part, I find it difficult to understand, that some parts may be a bit confusing. I'll suggest the author to have some re-read or proofreading to make improvements.
P.S. I would keep on reading, if I find something, I'll comment so you'll make improvements.
Keep it up!!!
Take a full 5 my friend, The writing I have no complaints, The Comedy is something I always look for so it definitely made it more enjoyable
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This an amazIng book so far and im hoping its not dropp because it Just that good to me only problem is the mc wAnting build a sect or palace to me it just waste Of time findIng people to manage and Certian people you can just like me im all about my Women and kids thats it I would nake us sk strIng ThaT the whole woRld would not be able to stop a single swip from my hand♎️
Its hilarious and intriguing. If you dont mind harem I highly recommended it. The mc is an rude asshole with zero eq, but he is so much fun, the characters have their own voices, the setting its sort of unique and it has the most evil game devs I have ever seen. The only drawback for me its the the damn harem, cant stand those shenanigans. I did not notice the tag before starting, noticed some flags later, went back to recheck, and now I am so disappointed. Definitively worth the read if you can stand harem.
Good day. Well, it's past midnight here, so I won't make my review formal as I am extremely sleepy to type.
Writing Quality is absolutely great except for the slight punctuation mistakes here and there. One involved a comma, I didn't point out all of them since I didn't want to be nitpicky. When it comes to vocabulary, I like your choice of words. They aren't repetitive, but I would like to suggest that you keep the dialogue tags simple, and not use a thousand alternatives for "said" and "ask."
Like what Stephen King said, " I think we all agree that dialogue tags are necessary for readers to know who’s talking. But writers are divided in how we use them:
Some, including Raymond Carver, simply use “he said, she said”; others apparently invent a million different synonyms for “said”; still others try to find balance between the two extremes, sometimes even fifty-fifty.
Yesterday, yet another writer, Jack Woe, jumped into the fray:
I’ve read quite a few blogs about the evilness of dialogue tags. For example, Joe Moore wrote in The Kill Zone how new authors are overusing the alternatives of said.
They go to: exclaimed, murmured, screamed, whispered, pleaded, shrieked, demanded, ordered, cried, shouted, and my all-time favorite, muttered.
Thing is, I as a reader, don’t care. I just don’t read dialogue tags — at all.
He’s not alone. To me, modifying such a perfectly fine tag as “said” is like Pimp My Ride gone bad. (Tip: Read that sentence again in Samuel L. Jackson’s voice.) I suggest you head over to Jack’s blog to read his brief, yet succinct musing over dialogue tags—or as Stephen King puts it in “On Writing”, “dialogue attribution.”
A passionate adversary to adverbs, King warns against using adverbs in dialogue attribution, which reduce the effectiveness of the attribution verb:
I insist that you use the adverb in dialogue attribution only in the rarest and most special of occasions … and not even then, if you can avoid it. Just to make sure we all know what we’re talking about, examine these three sentences:
“Put it down!” she shouted.
“Give it back,” he pleaded, “it’s mine.”
“Don’t be such a fool, Jekyll,” Utterson said.
In these sentences, shouted, pleaded, and said are verbs of dialogue attribution. Now look at these dubious revisions:
“Put it down!” she shouted menacingly.
“Give it back,” he pleaded abjectly, “it’s mine.”
“Don’t be such a fool, Jekyll,” Utterson said contemptuously.
The three latter sentences are all weaker than the three former ones, and most readers will see why immediately.
[…]
Some writers try to evade the no-adverb rule by shooting the attribution verb full of steroids. The result is familiar to any reader of pulp fiction or paperback originals:”
“Put the gun down, Utterson!” Jekyll grated.
“Never stop kissing me!” Shayna gasped.
“You damned tease!” Bill jerked out.
The best form of dialogue attribution is said, as in he said, she said, Bill said, Monica said.
Keep things simple, but! That doesn't mean you'll only stick with said and asked. Just use them more often.
Next, I love the way you convey emotions for your characters. They're very well done. Another suggestion is that you get to the point. An example of this is the first three to four chapters I think in which you spent all those four chapters to reveal she died.
Also, during these chapters, I only noticed two things that revolved around it. Her unusual liking to kidnaps and something to do with asking herself if she really is dead. Perhaps you could cut off some unnecessary scenes there.
Next, character design. Well done! I was able to imagine the looks of the characters in a few paragraphs or so, I don't believe you're a newbie writer. When I started out writing during my high-school times, I could barely think of any synonyms. There wasn't Google back then, so I had to rely on Thesauruses and Dictionaries in which it could only be found within libraries. Sigh, the nearest library from me that time was so far.
It's also quite funny that this the countless time in a row of reading a novel that has something to do with death and being alive again. I guess that's the majority of books here. If there are any suggestions I could give, that would be getting used to using em dashes.
You're first person POV is also quite great. It's not the boring, "I went here then go here and so on and so forth" type of first person. Well, that's all I can criticize for now. I know this review isn't formal, I'm missing the front matter and the summary, but then again, I've got to return to my sleep.
That is all I can say for now.
-Dann Giovanni