honestly can't even get into this can't pronounce half the names the full capitalization of last names is annoying if your not going to make the first names the same it's just an overall rough read
A horrifying and nightmarish world that feels like a fever dream. Finding the mc in an ocean alone and in a small space against the unknown of the vast abyss. make you sweat while reading.
This is just my personal opinion or maybe i am to nitpick about story so sorry first then. This is story about someone that has teenager mentality gets peak knowledge with little effort and time. Forced to teach to another people so he can get out and show off. At first good i thought but later rather boring and forcing. Thanks
Obligatory Author’s review. This book is a rewrite for my COPYCAT series. Please comment your critiques and help me improve my writing. Thank you! And ENJOY!
The synopsis has told me the entire story without even reading it. 1001001011111000101011100101001010111111000011110101001100101010101010100101010101010111111010100101111110010101101010100110101010101010101111010101111001110010010100000010100001001110111100
gonna give this 5star because i like the story and there's a time skip about the renovation of the house and the restaurant but still like the story and I would like to ask if the world is still the same where he is a mafia ? and hoping ur not gonna drop this story
Good story overall. Already loving it. Keeps me wondering what will happen if he hadn't go to the shop.
Honestly, I find it to be pretty fascinating. At first, I didn't think I would enjoy this story so much. But! Wow, d*mn, bro! I like it! (At least, in my opinion, this one has a certain allure.)Actually, this one is about stuff I like! Darkness and shadow! MC is described as "the incompetent prince," but ... u know someone that people thought was a loser could be a dangerous factor ?So... I was eager to read more!
There are quite a few issues with this story. First and foremost is how absolutely slowly it moves. By chapter 20, the story has barely even begun, and it took about 11 chapters to reach what should have essentially been the first. This feels like a result of you going into extreme detail about backstory and world building before even giving the reader a chance to care about your characters. These are things that should have been introduced gradually, and less forcefully, as the story progressed, not all at once at the beginning.
You also have a tendency to over explain things a lot. This not only takes up 200+% more words than you need to, it gets very tiring to read.
The grammar is okay, but not great. You use "!!!!" and "???" and chatroom-like syntax, and it makes your story come off as if written by an overly excited teenage girl (which may be the case, I don't know).
Your dialogue tends to be heavy eye-roll material as you often use it for exposition, making your characters come off as robotic and unrealistic. Backstory should not be forced into dialogue. It kills a story. And you've done that /a lot/ in yours, and right from the start as well.
You've got a few interesting ideas and some potential, but the way you write seriously needs an overhaul. Spend a little time reading better written works, see how they do things and try to reach where you are at Ch20 in 2-4 chapters instead.
Good luck.
Aside from the Main Character's RL background (in which I have a few conjectures on how it will play in the much later chapters like those who've read novels like evil dragon and shura's wrath of the same genre), the current plot setting is very well thought off and chapters consists of elements important for building up the MC and the scenarios relating for future chapters (unlike others that just make chapters to add as a fodder to keep up with word count which containing something that is completely obvious and wastes time and SS).
For those who like VRMMO Novels, this is a gem in the dust that should be added in your "Must Read" lists.
so far pretty good, story feels smooth and easy to read, events make "sense" and dont feel rushed, so grammar and writing is good
mc feels intelligent and quick to adapt, so please keept it that way.
id also really like to see a zombie survival novel with a necromancer, but thats just a suggestion
good story so far
Loved it. Want more releases........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................