I just finished reading your first chapter. I must say you put a lot of work in it and it's creative.
However, it's a lot of exposition in the first Chapter.
All the backstory, worldbuilding... You know. Every Information that's not conveyed by Dialogue or Action.
The other scenes beside the Exposition are good though.
Keep as much Information as possible hidden from the audience
They are smart, and will figure it out
You have a great Set up. Try to show a little bit of scene of mc getting bashed up in his date or something. I'm not a date expert. So, I can't tell you this in detail. Only can give an idea of what should be written first.
If you show such scenes where mc feel very low and sad, although he put a lot of effort in this date, it would give a proper way to convey emotions of the mc in a dialogue or actions.
Also, show only what is necessary for the character to know, not for the audience. Like the god of creation and God of void info.
It's too much for me to process this much info right at the beginning and I'm sure it is same for other readers
Additionally, it makes it reasonable to tell our mc and the the audience patiently, the Info that's very basic for anyone to know.
It is currently all internal, I think that's hard to convey without any external reflection.
Like, talking with someone else about it, or showing the emotional change through action can get a better effect.
If you just tell what happened, it also takes a little bit away from the Reader finding out about it. You know...
Now, I am not an expert though...
I've seen many novels doing the same thing at first. some get popular while some doesn't.
It depends.
So, it's up to you whether you feel right to change the arrangement of plot a bit and add some emotional scenes in it to make it more lively and natural.
That's all I have to say. I'll leave a review on webnovel if you like.
However, I need your permission If I can put this up or not. thinking
Anyway, good work. You did a great job! Keep it up!
Hey!
Good day to you! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email mollyringdom*@*gmail.com (delete *）We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). Looking forward to your email soon.
it's like joker and Harley's love story but its more hmm, I can't find the specific but its really good. [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=recommend][img=update][img=recommend][img=update]
I love yonome, I love how selfish and sadistic she is so far I can't wait to see her character development and see what she becomes in the future
The title sounds very interesting. The summary on the other hand feels somewhat exaggerated, but it'd probably tone down when narrating the actual story.
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QUESTION TIME :)
i)What is Mahendra Pratap thinking about?
ii)Has Princess Padmini captured his heart as well or it's just an infatuation?
iii)Will Mahendra Pratap permit the reconciliation of Princess Padmini and Emperor Bhimsen if this occurs?
Continue reading to learn more, and remember to vote and review to show your support.
So far, so good, In the first chapters some may be repulsed by a very bizarre way of writting that they wouldn't be used to reading at all but I would recommend to stick around as the author makes fast progress as they write each chapters, of course, there are grammatical mistake but every story has them, the plot progresses at a good space, nor too fast nor too slow, in short, I would recommend you stick around and give this novel a read!
needs more detail in his inventions he makes. you keep doing he Or she it's confusing. your charging coins for small chapters ?
No romance/harem, no hero type MC. The MC is smart and the story is really good. These kinds of novels are extremely rare so you can consider this a hidden gem. More people need to read this. Also, the grammar is good for those that are really bothered by that. I hope the author does not drop this. Keep it up!
I hope Hua memories recovers soon and nan shu cheng story finishes. The story development is good love assassin storyline hope to read more.
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