I'm a big fan of I Have a Mansion in the Post-apocalyptic World, I Found A Planet and Scholar’s Advanced Technological System. So I was quite excited to read this novel because I thought it would be in the same vein. As the story progress, I realize this story is absolute crap. The translation is excellent and the English flows smoothly but they couldn't save the abysmal quality of the plot and character designs. The mc is endowed with a system from a parallel universe with technology hundred thousand years more advanced than Earth and yet the mc decides the best use of the system is to be a street thug, a gamer and then a bodyguard - it was at that moment I decided to drop it. The story is not worth reading. There are much better novels out there, especially the ones I listed at the beginning of the post.
One star all across the board, except for the translation i guess, you'd think with a preview that this trash novel wouldn't get picked over the other contenders. Not much to say, not much suspense, cringe dialogue, the main character does't seem to have a personality outside of whatever chuuni dialogue the author wants him to spew. Very much unlike how some characters from other stories are driven by reason and their own logic. I've read how some stoic main leads who were men of few words, who perhaps justity their lack of action through an internal dialogue, perhaps adopting a darwinian view of the world as a necessay rite of passage for the transition of the new world. What about this MC? Well his explanation is that its becuase they're worms and being good niave cuz bad can save u unlike being good and thats not good and hes right and no question him he has super SSS skill but his class also op and im losing precious braincells and time writing this garbage. Why did that read terrible, and very lacking in thought? That's kind of how this story reads and feels, things just happen and the stats brought up dont really mean anything. So my advice is to just avoid this altogether unless you like actively losing braincells.
oh. ... author kun u back with another story. Good good. .I just hope you don't torture poor xin as much as you did to poor aryan. Well I read initial chapters and I am impressed. You have improved a lot. Nice introduction... ... .keep up the good work .
..................................................................................................................................................................................................... Thats all folks
Dear ultra, I gave you 5 stars for the sake of encouraging you. However, be reminded that no work is perfect and you have a long way to go in terms of storytelling.Although I understand Jack's bewilderment when he was not recorded as a hero, added to the fact that he woke up 1500 years into the future, he's quite an unreasonable character who lets his emotions overtake his rationality. And that is considering that he was a great hero. It's hard for me to believe that he's one when he acts so immaturely. Other than Jack, no other characters stood out to me since they have no unique propensities that would make me remember them. Perhaps I'm being picky, but that's the actuality when I was reading the book. Perhaps it's because it was not elucidated properly, the world setting and the magic/levelling up system is quite hazy. I do know that you can level up by killing another living creature. Though, that dismisses some laws governed by nature. Instead of encouraging one to level up, the levelling up system encourages killing to grow strong. Since this is a novel that focuses on action, I would appreciate if the fight scenes are narrated in an extensive way, focusing on muscle/limb/eye movements and the altercation itself. It's quite an evasion on using mere onomatopoeias in narrating rather than actual movements. The exposition is quite lacking, if I may say. You often use adjective in describing things. Utilize the wonders of prose. Adeptly use figures of speech. Make the readers read what you're actually seeing in your mind. Also, I have qualms in the changing of POVs. I think it would be alright to stick to one POV, the omniscient one. In that way, you will be able to show Jack's thoughts and what's happening around him. Regarding the grammatical aspects of the story, I've noticed several mistakes. There were a lot of missing/misused punctuation marks leading to run-ons, incorrect verb tenses, absent modifiers, and questionable word choices. Withal, heed my words that these can be proofread really easily. I just pointed them out to let you know that your work could look even more beautiful. Furthermore, divide your condensed paragraphs. It's quite tiring to read such thick passages, and readers tend to skip something like them. Overall, the elements are quite dichotomized. I think you could merge the ideas a little more. Rest assured that you're potential as a writer will still grow. I will be supporting you! [Sorry for leaving such a bad review]