You are making story way worse by trying so hard.
There is a good reason for so many similar novels to exist, because it works! Your starting template is similar to 'global lord' types, yet instead of following the fast paced formula, you write an extremely slow paced progression, which doesn't fit this sub-genre at all.
Literally whenever ANYTHING happens, MC starts thinking about it for ungodly amount og paragraphs. Then he says something like "wait this is not important now", which I 100% agree, it is indeed not important in the slightest.
And more importantly , MC feels WAY too clueless for someone who literally studied this world, this is not a transmigration novel. He even had high grades, how is he so flustered? In such an education system, he should already be completely familiar with everything and should be mentally prepared.
I can tell that author is trying to make MC weak-willed so that he can change it afterwards and call it character progression, but it just doesn't work.
The idea is cool, if you simply delete half of the text, or perhaps even a bit more than half, this could be a good novel.
You actually let your fans down for profit you could have just made a patreon and moust of us whould donate for you but u just had to be greedy.. well not my problem anymore ill just black list you. Fuck reading your novels when you do this to people who vote daily and always folowed your novel since day one. Biggest disapointment after brexit and donald trump
by far the best one out of all the other ones released as trial read, the quality is good too compared with other running novels, not mind blowing but better than a lot of bs currently being translated
MC is a bit of a hypocrite, anyone who uses women as tools are scum unless its him then its only natural to do so. Doesn’t fawn over every fairy he see’s which is nice but no matter how amazing of aloof and cold the woman is they because dunces the moment they meet the MC and choose to be his slave which is dumb but oh well. MC is like Changge from “I am the fated villain” except for this guy chooses to be borderline scum while Changge has to be because of his inheritance and system
The mtl is "The Eldest Martial Sister Gave Up Treatment".
Note: I really like the story a lot, until I notice that I need to pay two keys to unlock the chapter. I don't mind supporting the translation of the novel I like, but two keys??? Seriously???
why is it on the male section
sigh
bro i don't like Yuri
Just keeps getting better and better. All ur books are great author
not bad so far
Great start so far. I love the idea of a fox as the MC; it makes the story very interesting and funny. Great grammar and spelling. I am looking forward to more chapters.
I like the idea of this book, I can see the building blocks that you have for it and what you are going for. So couple major things that are holding it back and some things that are going for it.
Things that are holding it back is this, grammar and details. This feels very rushed and instead of the narrator telling you things they should have the characters do so. For example, the demon that shows up and attacks the mc. Instead of you telling us his name as the narrator, have him introduce himself. Also, one thing I noticed going through this book is you give us information about a place or creature without it being introduced organically. For example the glinx. You dont mention that name until you mention the plants that were found. But by then, you already mentioned the creature so you could have told us the name of the creatures then.
This happens a few times and it makes the reader go back and check what you are taking about which takes you out of immersion.
The good, it has decent characters and it’s quite obvious that you spent a lot of time thinking about them. However, they also feel very 2d and do not have a lot of emotion. For example the little girl early on. The way she talked in the middle of her dad being eaten made no sense. “ mom? Mom?” Doesn’t sound like she is freaked out it should read like “ mom!? What’s going on?! Where is dad!?” Just add more emotion to your characters.
Also, the book jumps around a lot when it isnt necessary. For example, again I will bring up the little girl scene. It’s just kind of placed there. Whereas you could have had that in the begining of the book instead of just explaining that these monsters the glinx showed up. Make that the beginning of your book and have that be the first time they showed up.
I would also be way more descriptive regarding places and creatures epecially if they are a major plot point.
Over all I like what you are going for, it just needs some editing and more details in both the characters and what they are feeling and the setting and world building.
The story was amazing.
The way you developed the story was very unique and unlike any other writing style. Despite its script format, I thoroughly enjoyed the story.
As you mentioned in the auxiliaries, the writing style will soon change in volume two, because I understand what you're trying to accomplish in volume one, and I like it.
I'm excited to see how the story progresses in volume two.
Your description of the characters is very informative and gives me an idea of how they look.
Excellent work, author.[img=recommend]
This story is okay, it's just not amazing. The synopsis isn't very compelling or understandable, and the story itself isn't spectacular.
The writing quality is decent, although the dialogues could be better. Overall, it makes for a decent read, but it's easily forgettable.