This novel is just wonderful.
Despite the need for improvement in the writing and its structure, the story is still enjoyable.
The moment I started reading the first chapter, I instantly remembered novels about self-discovery, like “The Alchemist” for example, and truly this did not disappoint.
It’s clear. It’s precise. It knows what it wants to tell you and does exactly that.
Great work!
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TLDR, This stories like a writing project a 7th grader would turn in and get a C for.
Interesting at first, cliche after cliche, to instant power-up and time skip, to adventuring with no clear purpose but a slight hero complex, no clear understanding of how strong the MC is. Apparently he's a "Sage" but we never really get a clear understanding of the world's power scale and how strong a "sage" is supposed to be, from what I can see so far he seems like a 2nd rate magician with a few single and multi-target spells, nothing that can kill over 10 people really. He kills completely evil people like slavers who killed his father and (maybe r*ped his mother? author was never clear) also killed his mother, or a fat old noble lady who threw one of her slaves to be r*ped by 3 men then killed, then shoved a fire poker up the bum of the other cat girl. But then feels bad and like he wasn't supposed to do that. He gets on the wrong side of a receptionist because of his naiveness who starts discriminating and bullying him even sending him to a brothel and a recommendation to one of those male-like female cliche characters. He then stays there despite paying more or less the same as a normal inn despite knowing where some normal inns are (place he stayed at when he first came in the city). Theres alot more stupid stuff like this to read in this book but ill end it here otherwise this review wouldnt be readable.
It's not bad to have a few cliches and unlikeable characters, you just have to balance it out with your own original ideas and interesting plot points. For example, it doesn't make sense for the receptionist to be mad at the MC for so long, or the MC to just sit there and take her abuse without easily clearing things up, or to be staying in the brothel like hotel for so long when there are clearly other options for the same price. You could have at least gave a destination for the MC other than "wandering around relying on plot armor for lucky encounters". For example, finding some lost relic of the succubus race that his mother had, or seeking out his fathers sister in the capital to check up on her and write from there. These are some basic examples but a little can go a long way.
A really great story and realistic i can't stop reading this book its really good Looking forward for the next chapter__________________________________________
everything is confusing especially the game world it is straight up trash .
I'm telling you, this is the best "my wife is a CEO" novel and I've read like 20 of them. you guys should give it a try, the first 39 ch are free.
This story is great but i cant really take the time for it to be completely translated so i really mean to support this novel through different ways
Webnovel still want to translate trash novels like these?
Come on! It's exactly the same plot each time with the mc that are always the same and the author that try to put a maximum of fillers in the fighting chapters!!!
Some advice for the Author. Please note that this is meant as constructive criticism, not complaining, as I love the story.
You really need to get an English Thesaurus to broaden your vocabulary and help find more appropriate descriptive words. I know others have spoken to you about "lowly" being used improperly already (should word swap every instance of "lowly" with "softly"), but some other words are really out of place as well. For example; "nodding furiously in agreement". Furiously is a word normally used to describe a degree of anger. It "can" be used to describe intensity, but "nodding furiously" will throw off your readers because it implies anger (check the definition of the root word "fury" to better understand why). There are several other words that would better describe the visual you were intending, such as "vigorously", "energetically", "excitedly", or "swiftly".
Another issue I've found is when you add "ity" to the end of a word instead of "ness". For example; "genuinity" is not a word, but "genuineness" is. Likewise "nervosity" is not a word, but "nervousness" is.
Lastly, you occasionally use the word "light" incorrectly, and should use "slight" instead. For example; "light grin" should be "slight grin". Light in this situation is used to describe a form of measurement, but not degree of something. Such as volume or weight, but not a degree of intensity. In this case a "slight grin" would mean a partial grin or a grin to a lesser degree.
To be honest, English is a very dumb language that breaks it's own rules a lot when it comes to proper grammar. You can't rely on word definitions alone to fully grasp English grammar either, so I would highly recommend seeking out a native English speaking editor to assist you in this area. All that being said, I absolutely love your story. You have a lot of creative talent and I greatly appreciate the work you have put into this novel. I'm a freelance editor and if I had the spare time right now I would offer my services to you. Perhaps at a later date I might be able to assist if you are interested and still lack an editor.
A good novel... And it could be better... Hopefully you can always tries hard to improve and don't mind the harsh comment out there. You could not satisfy all people out there. Just give out your best!!
Really fucking awesome. Can’t wait to see more development and more chapters! I’m really into the plot and think this book has a lot of potential.
I have to say that this is one amazingly well written story with a rich degree of detail and a most entertaining and unusual main character of an elderly female engineer getting immersed into a virtual game world. The author has crafted something quite breathtaking here and now that I've read up to the most recent chapter after binging from the start I will be anxiously awaiting each new chapter release.