Good characterisation, good story development and conversation between character to character is good . finally sex scenes are interesting to.
Ehh I like the concept and all but the character building and the plot is definitely lacking . The author didn't describe fully how the person looks thats a flaw for sure . But the plot isn't that good because its moving too fast and the reader can't imagine how the area looks like due to the lack of description . Also the author seems to be quite lazy to keep track of the protagonist level as when I read the protagonist suddenly become lv 30
what is this ****, and the person who left a lot of reviews is a RAM 333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
I deleted my past review, this would have been one of my favourites if not for the really horrible grammar that really makes my eyes hurt. if you can improve on the grammar it would be awesome
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why the **** is it only 40 chapters webnovel **** you actually **** you mother****ers 20 chapters that are free ..,.............................
love it [img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update][img=update]
There's not that many bad things to say about the story just enough to make you stop bothering about it once you reach the last free chapter. The author force a lot of stuff to make the story develops how he want it. The Mc does not reflect the fact that he reincarnated he lives with kids and he is perfectly integrated with them, the author could just have chosen a kid from that world as mc it would have been better.
There's so much to cover but I can't spoil it, unfortunately! At first, I thought this was another eastern novel but I was quickly surprised with how fast the story shifted.
Writing Quality: Despite the writer's first language not being English, most of the scenes are described quite well. Excellent story-telling and the dialogues are quite realistic. Remember, however, that not everything in a scene needs to be revealed to the reader, like specific locations, numbers, etc. leave a bit of imagery to the reader :)
Stability of Updates: Too soon to tell but they seem to be on the right track. Just keep writing every day and try to make deadlines for yourself. My goal is 3 Chapters every day before the afternoon, practice makes perfect.
Story Development: If I could go 7/5 I would! As soon as they talked about the borrowing system a few chapters in all I could think about was FMA and FMA: B regarding 'Equivalent Exchange.' I thought that was one of the most interesting concepts to ever exist in anime because the MCs aren't typically overpowered as they have to be creative with what they already have.
You can already tell that the MC is crafty and resourceful, so it'll be interesting to see how he uses this new system and for what.
Character Design: Excellent work describing each of the characters and making them memorable, from the names to the way they act. Bravo!
World Background: I could easily visualize each place they were in, imagery is imperative in fiction and it seems like you know what you're doing -- you're already a ways ahead of your competition.
In conclusion, love the book so far, love the idea, and can't wait to read more!
P.S. With English being my second language I can totally relate to you as I can see the minor mistakes you're making in your work (imagery, diction, and sentence-structure wise) if you'd like to talk we can exchange discords :)
$115,500 for the Best Adventure Novels +Get Hardcover Publish
Hey Writers! Come to check out this adventure novel writing competition, both new and published stories can participate! This competition is mainly looking for four genres: Fantasy, Urban, Game, and Sci-fi. You can either submit your published works, rewrite some previous ideas, or create a new story if any given examples or tips inspired you! Web-fiction or Light Novel writing experience is desired, so you might be the winner!
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Hi! Author here.
If you have anything to say about my work, critique it freely as that's what I'm looking for in my growth as an author. It will also be mirrored in Valor's adventure as he tries to obtain his dreams.
Finally one of the few novels that has okay english. My search was successful.
Pls ignore.
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