Hey jewels, we are over fifty chapters and our journey is nearly ending. Drop a review if you enjoy the novel. I'll be glad and grateful for your unwavering love and support throughout my work. This is the hardest fantasy novel I've ever written. Love~twilight
So for starters theres no real description of the world just that its a "cultivator world" pretty much all the info you get, i always give new books i try about 25 - 50 chapters before i trully drop them but i couldnt even make it to 25. dropped at 20, MC is Beyond beta its pretty sad i understand not have experience with women but this is beyond that by a lot, it feels more like this is a 13 yr old boy going thru puberty. You had a good idea coming in but ruined it by how your mc is. and technically if he has maxed out mental fortification he shouldn't react like a 13yr old when the dumb cliché things happen. conclusion do not read if you hate Beta MC's read if you enjoy reading about Beta Mc's.
Let me just say: the pacing in these chapters is absolutely ruthless and I respect it. Chapter 3 opens with what is essentially a violent power play—Fu Jinglan threatening Shen Lingxi, her backing down, the cigar smoke, the blood at the corner of her lip. It's jarring. It's uncomfortable. And then immediately—knock on the door. Mu Suizhou enters and we get the Xiaosi backstory dumped on us like a freight train. The transition from intimate violence to tragic history to "by the way, buy her some clothes" is so fast your head spins, but it works because each beat reveals something new about Fu Jinglan's psychology. Then Chapter 4 shifts gears completely. We get the comedic relief of Mu Suizhou shipping himself and Fu Jinglan, the rumor mill about their relationship abroad, the whole "Shen Jinglan is the straightest" bit. It's light, it's funny, and it gives you breathing room before the Jiang Qingyan confrontation hits like a truck. That scene—entering while Shen Lingxi is eating her favorite food, the cat, the cigarette flick, the face-press into the soup bowl—escalates so quickly from awkward introduction to physical altercation that you're on the edge of your seat the entire time. And Chapter 5? It opens with the snow scene—Fu Jinglan watching guests leave, the black umbrella, the marriag— and then it cuts off. The cliffhanger is brutal. The author knows exactly how to control tension, knowing when to compress scenes into rapid-fire exchanges and when to slow down for atmospheric moments. The rhythm between violence, humor, grief, and romance keeps you constantly off-balance in the best way.
The premise itself is good, and the characters in MC's new world are interesting, especial So Won. If it's going to become *cough cough* BL *cough cough cough* I'd eagerly be following along. It's fine if it's not, though, I could just silently ship the characters from the safety of my couch ^0^I read past chapter 3, and though there were still some tricky parts, the writing becomes much better from there. I strongly recommend for any author to use Grammarly before publishing (and no, I'm not getting paid to endorse it this damn much). I have it installed in Chrome, it's my last line of defense before releasing a chapter. Here, there were still minor errors in the first two chapters that I didn't address because I'm pretty sure the free version of Grammarly would catch them just fine. That said, author, please take this as a gesture of goodwill because I saw in the forums how worried you were--Chapter 1:lion and his songs that--> and WITH his songs thatthe 75,000 seats in the stadium were full--> were FILLED (to capacity).Kim Chun Ha appeared on stage--> make it "onstage" -- no spacea 19-year-old boy with black hair and green eyes of 179cm entered -- like this, it sounds like it's his eyes that's 179cm, so...--> a 19-year-old boy OF 179cm, with black...they needed to take a sleep--> EITHER needed to sleep OR needed to take a napJae Hyun decided to tell HER--> tell HIM In fact, I have already informed...--> you forgot to add the opening quotation mark "In fact...Do you even know dance? And just saying but when you agreed to give me your voice--> Do you even know how to dance (not sure if this is what you meant, but "know dance" doesn't sound right)--> make the next statement stronger by simply starting with "When you agreed to give..."--> delete "and just saying"He ignored what he had just told him before look at him and talk.--> (Jae Hyun) ignored Chun Ha's words (I'd suggest naming at least one of the characters in a sentence if they have the same gender; it's to avoid confusion about who's doing what)--> and simply looked at him before speaking.Kim Chun Ha's anger lashed his mind and blew up.--> I don't understand what you mean by "lashed his mind." Maybe it's best if you just say (his) anger blew up.I make you regret being born--> I'LL make you...a shot was heard--> a shot sounded OR rang out (to avoid the passive "was heard")Once he would be cured--> Once HE'S curedJae Hyun had a pinch in his heart--> Jae Hyun's heart constrictedChapter 2:He tried to sit down,--> sit UPhis body gave up to him--> up ON himhis agency—if you say so—saved--> did you mean "if you could call them that"?Fake to sleep? Hid?--> Fake sleep--> HideThink to something--> Think OF somethingand the panic gradually spread to him--> and his panic gradually spread (could use a different word here imo).He was going to tell them their home truths!--> "home truths" seems to be an idiomatic expression in French? Not sure, but it doesn't translate well, I would suggest a more common phrase like "tell them what's what"Sorry I didn't force you.--> Sorry, I shouldn't have forced you/pushed you too hard"Am I still dreaming?
hey absolutely love the book keep up the amazing work, but could 2 people maybe give me a thumbs up? im tryin to level up please thanks. ***
Don't know why this disappeared from the trial read, I really hope this enters the voting pool and starts full time updates soon since it's better than 99% of the other trial read stories!
Very interesting storyline. I guess it must have been inspired by contemporary global events. Happy to see how the story has come to fruition. Keep on writing!
the only thing that's straight face mask ????? ty for the past few days and then telling you about it later but I don't think it's a good time to come
I have wanted to read books so I am reading this book because it it really good. And you don't know when something is good until it is gone. When I first started to read you book it took me on an adventure. I love to read books and it made me want to make my own books someday. I don't when I will do it but I will. I not not stop reading books.Some people say you are a bookworm becauses you love to read books. But who but those people who say that we are bookworms it is not a bad thing. We just love to read books. I am going to put some of my own books up soon I hope the best for you. I Love to read book every day and I will not stop reading. See you.
I like the person's background and the character. I think this has a lot of potential! Good start, may the writing Gods bless you with motivation and creativity to continue! I'm still starting a lot of writing projects like this, get excited and then lose it after the first few chapters, so I hope you have a better time than I do!
This book is amazing, keep going!Can't stop reading. Can't wait to see more. Do you have any social media that I can follow so I can know when you gonna update?
Such a incredible book .... What a interesting story. Webnoble should really really published book . This is getting really really awesome I hope it gets out soon.Sachin nice plot with incredible characters and a mysterious background of the kingdom is really nice . looking for what to it coming out .