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Crows eyes widened. This was a bag that you could store larger objects in and still have it be as small or as big as you want it to be. He quicky hit yes and the bag then attached itself to his belt. The ring on the other hand only gave him an [unidentified] prompt. He grabbed the ring anyways and placed it into his new bag.
"We've thought up some strategies, so today's meeting is to finalize them. Tell me what do you guys think." (Zack)
if english is not this authors first language then I would hope the readers and critics will have a bit of understanding and try to give positive feedback instead of the trolling that I usually come across because that does more harm than necessary and ultimately prevents an author from finishing the story hampering their growth just to feed some egos that think they are better than others so PLEASE BE RESPECTFUL AND UNDERSTANDING ? thank you
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read until chapter 7 than the main characters name got switched to "Lin Yi" randomly.... His orginal name was Haotian. So, I understand it's still a Chinese name but how does it switch to a entirely different name. This lasts for two chapters and I stopped since if this happened now than it will probably be worse later. The novel is super fast paced and there is not any background given of why he wanted to "rebel" which is stupid since the Author could of made the novel 100x better if he/she just took like 30-40 chapters and expanded on the world background and the family the MC is currently from.
The writing was good, albeit with some small, but noticeable grammar errors and awkward syntax(Grammarly helps for those.).The story, characters, and the world, all seem to be developing quite nicely into a story that has a focus on some sci-fi elements and fantasy ones, a combination that a lot of people are bound to like.Plot is also not messy or jumbled up, and instead, concise and simple to understand.Good work.
Hey All. Author here. If you have any constructive Criticism about the story so far. I would love to hear it. I still wish to improve a lot on writing .also any question feel free to sound off. I'll try to answer those as best as I can in this very earlier stage of the story thus far.Welp. back to writing I go!
very neat story and contains potential ?
its one of my favorite novels!!!!!!!!!!!
good..,........,..........................
Any grammar errors are the fault of Google Translate because I write in my native language (Portuguese) and then translate. Thank you for your understanding.
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