I have so many things to point out.The start is pretty nice, and neat. However, for some reason, it just becomes... how should I say this, weird afterwards.The plot is quite... unique I guess? maybe you're trying to diverge from the usual face-slapping cultivation novels. But somehow, I really don't understand what the **** they're doing.I feel like the reasons on why they were there is forced, and kinda like an excuse to just play around.Also, I love Arkenvalle by the way. Please give her more screentime. In human form, please.
Overall the story is a cute idea following this highschooler through the akwardness and tribulations of being a teenager. There are several places in the story where things could be fleshed out better however, especially the characters. The only relationship we see fleshed out here is between Dashuan and Ray, and even there we still get too much uneccesary fluff that tells us very little about the characters. Jesicca also starts as a manic pixie dream girl, and isn't given much character development. We still see her as this unrealistic idea of what a teenage girl is like.And don't be afraid to give your characters each authentic voices! I often found you using the same slang with each character, including Jessica (even though she's foreign). Lots of potential here! Please proofread your work and make your characters shine! We don't need to know all the specifics of bball!
Hi there!Do you know there is a LitRPG writing contest? You might be a competitive participant and take the chance to win up to $3,000! Please Google LUTAW_writing_contest or Supreme Me Fiction Writing Contest to find out more!
Hey there!Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact [email protected]. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
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I am a dog I love fried spring rolls! I like your novel! Take my 5 stars! Write more and publish new chapters everyday!Fried spring rolls is delicious when dipped in a sweet and spicy sauce!HAHAHA COMIC SANS MS FONT
please upload a New chapter ?? i really like how he try to save his planet
Okay!! From where do I start?First of all, thank you author for such an amazing book. A boy who loathes the vampire race ends up in a vampire's body and that too one of the strongest vampires. Hmm, interesting!! Now that Atlas has become a vampire, it is his turn to show who is in power. Come on, bring in the revenge.The writing quality is great and the story proceeds smoothly, although at times it does become a little confusing. But that's fine. And certainly, one of the many things the author is great at updating regularly.The story is filled with action, emotions and of course, mystery. The story is intriguing and although there are 20 odd chapters currently, it is enough to keep the readers hooked and curious to find out what happens next. Some of the scenes are so vividly described that it is easy to visualize them.Now, all that remains to see is how the story proceeds and what kind of character Atlas will turn into.Kudos to the author for such an awesome story and all the best!!!!
The system in space is great. blasters and lasers, elves and cats. nice set of all sorts of tricks.
Hi! This is Ada, an editor of the international Suspense/Thriller Writing Contest I. I see great potential in your book, but your book is so underrated here. Thus, I invited you to join the contest a week ago. Please reply to me. Let’s discuss in detail.
Sh't... Ur mixing fulltime magicster plot ,I am really super star charactor and one piece skill...zzz......U should add more creative idea such change plot..unique mc...little comedy...etc.
1. No background story for the characters2. Bland characters3. Story development is just burn things, find/help people, get stronger/unlock things then repeat4. Rules for the system is not explained and followed5. The story is not using writing techniques to deepen the plot progression