Your English is good but the crafting is not on the level, I reckon you study a few like viewpoint, Show not tell, and do mind to keep an eye for the little things that may not seem important as it sometimes sets off the readers.
Your main problem I notice reading the first three chapter is that the viewpoint is wrong. it's much like an omniscient telling a story he knows everything about. You should change that to 1st or 3rd person omniscient.
and Show don't tell, all the aspiring author get through this, I myself was an example. I fixed this problem through revising as I'm not still good enough to follow.
that's all my personal thoughts reading the first 3 chapters.
Good Day.
When reading I have noticed the exquisite description, very specific details and a very creative, maplio and deep language; it is sincerely understood that:
"The Isekai game is a virtual reality sport"
One of the few reads that make you recreate the game by reading.
I don't want to bash you in, like the other guy did on his review. i know this is your first novel and your still improving but am gonna have to drop.
Your mc is just way to annoying, i really did try and read more, but at this point am just skimming through chapters.
(Mc problems)
1: The fact the he actually paid for the wand that was disposable was just bad, he could have still made excuses or try to haggle over the wand, you think he would learn a thing or two over haggling because he grew in that type of environment, but no, He didn't.
2: Some what the same problem, butcher guy was to ripping him off but as soon as he thought that the butcher guy was helping him with the girl, he dropped everything thing because he thought he was a "man of culture" for helping him with the girl.
3: MOST ANNOYING PROBLEM OF THEM ALL! Annoying simp mc, Jesus Christ the first pretty girl that he meets he instantly goes monke mode for her, I can't imagine what would happen when he meets someone like a Princess or a Queen, that look more beautiful than her or some other higher being that's more beautiful.
Alright, this novel is gutsy and ambitious. Three entirely different storylines of different genres meshed together incredibly well using that one demon lord.
Seriously, I was scared for this one. I thought the stories would clash, and that there would be tonal clashes and clashes for which story takes the spotlight.
But this goddamned author pulled it off.
And he pulled it off to an extent I've seriously only seen in published books.
Alright, yeah, so if you, the person reading the review, hasn't cought on to the fact that I love this book and that this is just going to be me gushing all over it, then let me make it clear.
I LOVE this book.
The writing is phenomenal.
It's set on Earth and I'd say it's a pretty solid planet as far as word building goes.
It seems to be very well researched. I can't elaborate on this point really because I haven't had much experience with the character and location and customs settings present in this book, and as a typical Webnovel reader I'm too lazy to cross reference it against stuff, but yeah it feels really well researched.
The writing style is great. The flow and pace just fits the story like a glove. It's introspective in the best of ways. It's just great, yeah? There's some occasional spelling issues I've come across but c'mon, that's still leagues better than any Webnovel I've seen on here.
The characters oooh boy the characters I love em to bits. Character development and growth is on point. Characters are all hella likable. They are characteristic of how much effort went into this book and how much I love it.
Alright, I'll close this off by saying a couple more things sike this brain isn't going to let me stop gushing so soon-
a) It's great.
b) I love it.
c) Yes it does have quite a bit of LGBTQ rep and boy do the characters gain depth due to the societal impacts of that, but it's not the focus of the book.
d) I need more chapters
e) Hey almost daily uploads would you look at that thank you author
f) I have no clue why I'm still doing this.
7) I will not apologise for any time wasted on reading this 'review'
Keep going keep going keep going keep going Keep going keep going keep going keep goingKeep going keep going keep going going keep going keep going
As the author of this novel, I thought it wise to review my story. There's a saying that goes, "You have to love yourself first before you can learn to love others." I hope my story brings you guys extraordinary entertainment when you read it.
Hey there!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact [email protected]. A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
Hi! This is doris, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.
Hey there!
Good day for writing! If you want to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new works, you might want to contact
[email protected]. A brief introduction, some sample chapters, or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
pretty good fan fic :).....................................................................................................................
putting aside that it's already being translated, i have read it to the latest chapters in the raws and it was really good at the start but become quite a hassle to read afterwards, he become arrogant ( which is as expected of a Chinese Wn ). He dosen't even use any of tge skills he obtained!!.at the latest chapters in raw is just him punching through things and trying to act cool by being apathetic.
At first you gonna hate ML because he’s such a je*k, but trust me his character development is so good and he become better person for real. the FL is positive girl even thou she having traumatic childhood but everything will be okay so don’t worry. This novel give you really roller coaster feel but worth try to read when you bored. the story is short compared to another novel but still give you satifying ending.