JaneSmitten

Decently good novel but it is filled with grammar errors and my personal pet peeve getting the male and female pronouns reversed ……………………………

Since this novel is just out, I'll give my initial impressions. I think this novel is undoubtedly a novel that should be skipped or ignored if your an experienced or avid reader on this site. This novel is overly simplistic in its characters, narrative and story to its detriment. The mc is a Gary Stu. If you don't know what that means it's basically a male character who through The power of plot can do whatever The writer sets him out to do regardless if it makes sense or not. A normal man in modern times suddenly gets powers and can fight like an experienced fighter. Makes sense. Female characters instantly like him after a first encounter. Makes sense.  Randomly geting a space ring full of wealth and knowledge. Makes sense. The writing clearly ignores these plot holes in its narrative. It's pearly wish fulfillment and I don't see that changing in the future of this novel. I would recommend this novel to first time readers of this genre or readers to this site. It's light hearted, easy to follow and simple. It will ignite a bit of interest in this genre and draw eager readers. Unless wish fulfillment stories that are written at a 6th grade(12 year old) writing level is something you generally enjoy. I advise to stay away from this novel. It's a waste of time.

You said this was your first novel so I hope you'll read through this criticism and try to improve your future writing for the better. Please reply if you want to discuss anything.You need to finish up some of the arcs of the story and kill off some of the side characters since nobody cares about them. For instance the Venomshade assassination arc should've ended long ago with all the mysteries behind it being uncovered. Adding mysteries on top of mysteries out of nowhere along with relentless and constant action is not a good way to pace your story. You need to divide it into segments, arcs if you will which each have a clear ending and beginning where the mysteries and drama and action of each are solved. This prevents the excessive and annoying pileup of random characters and random events which get while humorous at the beginning merely get annoying after a while.Furthermore, the pacing of the novel is a tad ridiculous as event after event happens for seemingly no apparent reason merely bringing more confusion and chaos into the story. You make the world you're building seem so small at times by making all the important characters surround and revolve around the mc which leaves no further development later into the story and honestly make what could be a large and interesting world seem tiny and bland.This brings me to the next flaw which are the blatant plot holes within the novel. These are a major issue within the novel which jad me scratching my head quite a couple times. For instance why is it you can just bring the soul of the planet away from its home with absolutely no consequences. Why is it that divine bloodlines and divine god bloodlines seem to pop up from nowhere even though they're abdurdly overpowered and supposedly rare. How does Fang Lin remember getting bullied when he was younger even though he was the spoiled young master bullying everybody. Why is it that planet souls aren't more secretly guarded by the sect who obtains them so they can be exploited, or alternatively fought over far more bitterly. After all those who control the soul basically rule the planet and after all no cultivator is truly good every single one of them is ruthless in futthering their cultivation, just look at CNs. If devourers are just defected planet souls why don't powerful practitioners perform experiments trying to create devourers and enslave them for their purposes? Why is Fang Lin to trusting of everybody and seems to think that people aren't decieving or exploiting him(more of a character flaw)? If people can take soul binding oaths or swear things on their soul why isn't this used more often in the world, this seems to be a major flaw as it should be extremely difficult to swindle people with the addition of these omniscient oaths after all just have people take oaths not to lie. You need to implement a meth9d around these. Fang Lin claims to be extremely scared about revealing his bloodline and claims it'd be a disaster if people knew yet it seems.to get leaked almost every 5 chapters. So many people know it's a wonder that it isn't public knowledge. He needs to take far more care in keeping it a secret after all people who know about it have the potential to exploit him with their knowledge. Why does he just tell Tang Ya about his bloodline? He should be far more concerned about the secret spreading. Why doesn't Fang Yu considering killing Andromeda and taking the inheritance. Perhaps it can't be taken, but at least have her consider it give and explanation for the benefit of the readers. How is it that out of the numerous powerhouses-all with their own various trump-cards that died all lost to Wang Hao easily in the Underworld competition. For that matter how was he able to rob them by threatening their life when they could just unseal their cultivationa dn get DQed easily saving both their life and possessions. Why is it thay anybody is able to become the Yama's successor leaving the seat open to exploitation by anybody including the Yama's enemies. These are just a few of the kore blatant flaws I can remember off the top of my head right nowIn addition to all this the characters at times also seem completely one dimensional if not contradictory. For instance Wang Hao is purely the perverted master, he purely wants his own harem and seems to pursue nothing but teaching occasionally and building his harem. He needs more character built into him, for instance a more sinister plot such as exploitation of Fang Lin's bloodline by actually stealing some of his cultivation or vitality, etc.... After all it wouldn't make sense for him to not use the goldmine in front of him since all cultivators in CNs are completely ruthless. Xiao Ya's personality is almost pure lust, Tang Li's is merely the annoying child, Fang Xiushang is the arrogant master, Xuer is the loyal wife, etc... These characters need more backstory or sinister intent to them befitting a cultivation novel. For instance Xiao Ya could be merely manipulating Fang Lin to use as an attack dog for her sect while instilling loyalty to her and his fellow disciples within him. Fang Xiushang could be merely putting on a facade since he's merely a puppet of the Fang clan and isn't truly meant to be the successor. In addition the characters in this story seem to always obtain things easily such as Fang Lin's breakthrough being described as simply exceptional or such. We should see the charscters struggle for resources over tens of chapters and plot and scheme against others to survive and thrive.On this note Fang Lin's character is quite annoying at times. For instance sometimes he is against killing and at others he is seemingly ruthless such as against Ling Tian. We need to see a gradual character change from innocence to cruel and heartlessly evil as he experiences life in the cultivation world after all only the ruthless succeed in cultivation. This can be done through timeskips or major events. We *should* see Fang Lin becoming crueller and more ruthless for example later in the story he might try and exploit innocent people such as Tang Li to further his own cultivation. This would be an interesting character development that should be added to orevent the mc from becoming 1 dimensional and static.Finally you need to add detail into the story. Even small details help such as the weather during certain major events or a little backstory. But you especially need to add detail to the cultivation process, especially major differences between high ranking gods and immortals, since we as the reader don't always understand what is required to advance or how the mc should struggle to obtain certain things for advancements. People also want to see different cultivation methods as this adds interesting elements to the story. For example body cultivation or blood arts or buddhisr sutra, etc.. used to advanced cultivation.Hopefully this critique helps you improve your writing. Hope you looked through it and agreed with me on at least some stuff and will try to improve on it. Sorry if this came off rude or offensice, it wasn't meant to be, it merely was meant to help you out with your first novel. Good luck and have fun writing.

I like overpowered reincarnation stories, but this one would just make you speechless.For example, the MC has a 36 million debt to pay, yet decides to buy even more stuff. His company (which he recently became the head of but hasn't even stepped into his office) made around 870million Yuan in a year, and like 840 million is for company expenses, while 36 million is the amount the head can personally use. Remember, THIS IS IN A YEAR, yet the MC hasn't even being working as the head for a normal 9 to 5 day.But probably the most probomatic thing about this novel is, that it progresses so damn fast to the point that you're wondering if the author actually knows the procedures that are supposed to be done by the MC.Not much world building, mostly about the game and the company.The MC's luck in the game is also more BS than novels like Shura's Wrath and Evil Dragon against the heaven, which are known for the BS luck their MC's have.

petition to bring back the world of deities.........................................................................................................................

this is  a five star book???????????? I'm so impressed... I can even give 20 reviews and if it is possible......... it deserves 15 stars... I love it... #highly_recommended?????

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This one is very interesting. The writing is easily one of the best part. I really like the main character. This one has a lot of potential. I’m very interested to see how this one plays out.

I recommend other to try this. It is really good. I am desperate to read next chapters.

This novel is, if not the best, one of the many good ones that I have read. The way the story progresses has a nice pace. I also like how each characters interacts with each other and how the world-building is being portrayed.

hmmm.. so he is Lord Turtle sounds good novel to me????????????????????????????????????????????????????

author a near 10+years wasting the usage if the phone ?? he can atleast try body tempering technique or search for a method to enhance the farm quality also wasting that much time where many can be done atleast the farm could enhance cultivation speed sell for higher money to get resources search for more cultivation arts to perfect and refine his art more and more making a stronger foundation increaseing his speed you completely created a huge time skip loophole here with no achievement in between except level up sorry but thats unbelievable