She shook her head left and right. He didn't know what to do. He just said an instant ago he didn't want to make her sad and she was already crying. Great job Emp, he scolded himself on the inside.
'This is…' she didn't blink and stared fixedly at the brown ring with silver leaves engraved lying on her palm, 'Living Creatures Space Ring…?! Why? How? From where…?' she was full of questions; such a ring was incredibly rare as it could store living beings.
"I…I'm sorry your beating didn't go well… next time… I'll bring an axe…"
…
Tai Hao hesitates to speak: "Then Reverend Tai Xu, to invite or not invite?"
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I see you have been working hard on the formatting issues. It is reading much better now. There are still a few paragraphs that need your TLC.
I will start with the good then the bad. ------------Good: A very entertaining read. I enjoyed the story all the way. I would recommend anyone thinking of reading this to give it a try. I won't go too much into why it's good, just read other reviews for that. ---------------Bad: There are mainly 4 problems with this story: 1- Author had no vision for how the story would turn out and the process, only the concept/premise at the start was deliberate. This style of going impromptu and seeing where this goes without setting any short term goals nor long term goals for the story just makes it hollow. Author is following the whims of readers, If readers wanted skill he'll give skill. Problem here is that this causes plot holes and author has to add author notes to explain them and then along the chapters more plot holes appear and author again gives plausible explanations and we fall into a rabbit hole. Events or things that happened in past chapters aren't properly remembered in future chapters by auther. In future chapters when it's mentioned that this event happened, if you go back to that event then you find that it's wrong. Author didn't remember it right, so these future chapters will be built on a false memory.2- Author thoughts and pauses to story throughout chapters. You can tell author is new to writing since author has to explain in brackets why things happen and gives info dumps regularly, author didn't set the rules of the world beforehand, so he comes up with plausible explanations for world rules or events as the story goes. Honestly it just takes me out of the immersion in the story. 3- Characters have bad character design. Only Lia and Riya stayed true to their design, but others not so. How? At the start, every character is shown with his personality clear, an arrogant guy, a narcissist guy, an emotionless guy, a sadistic guy, and so on. The problem comes when we progress in the story, without any gradual changes, they suddenly display weird characteristics and everyone acts as if they were like that from the start. and don't tell me that's love working its magic. Love influences but doesn't change the core personality of someone. especially when that love was there long before the changes, for example, A sadistic guy that's used to being at the top of the world with everyone respecting him like the king that didn't talk much suddenly is a meathead and acts like a puppy and doesn't mind others not respecting him, If it's gradual then I'd understand, but it happened in one chapter. Same goes for Liam, he was the quiet type and smart and calculating, but then suddenly he teases and says stuff only friends of years would say.It just feels author is making them all turn out to be that silly friend group with no prior indication, these changes happen suddenly. No character development. just some lines explain that, like "you've already told me that more than 50 times in our last few hangouts
Angles = this is what you get when are you max level. We angles don't have much about world system. We we know that you must level up to unlock skill. You absorb different material to you staff to unlock new staff or power. Staff can change class and it can use different class if the staff get the hero permission to use. Swords can copy different type of sword and sword hero can also use shield and copy shield. Archer hero can use bow to throw many arrow as hero want. Heroes can use other weapon than their class if required are made and if you weapon permit.
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Is a really good story keep up the good work
Hey Guys, I am the author of this book and firstly I must say that webnovel is an amazing platform which helps put my ideas out to the world and secondly about my book J want to tell everyone that the first three chapters in my book are not paragraphed and because of that the story looks bulkier but after the first 3 chapters the writing and paragraphing will get on track so, please do not quit reading the book after the first three chapters! With that said I hope you read my book and enjoy it.