Really liking the story so far, premise is genuinely good and makes me want to read more into the novel. A single question if you don't mind though. Is it a harem?
A shame that Webnovel is the one translating this. They dropped the last one and I am not convinced that they are prepared the translate the whole novel this time :(
Seriously, I regret reading this one. If you are reading this before you read the novel then just stop. I mean it. If you are already reading it, wishing that it will get better then just stop. It will never get better and it will just repeat the old trope of 'my fiancee/friend is kidnapped so I must power up.'
I started reading the novel yesterday and I think it's readable at first.
'Cliche powerless transmigrator has a fiancee that gets bought over by a rich man with awesomely high position in the kingdom and to take revenge, the author will give him the godly plot armor.'
I'm very interested in this kind of story and I've already read many kinds of novel with the same pattern. They also get utterly bad reviews but nonetheless I still enjoyed them and read them until the end.
But damn this novel is utterly bad that I had to waste my time just to write this review.
It started interesting to me. MC beats everyone up except the elders who are too strong but it gets annoying as time goes on since MC just can't resolve himself to kill since he is so righteous and his principles will never be broken even if he dies.
This is common. It is annoying but the exciting story on how MC will achieve greater reward in the end becoming the thug life of the country and everyone kneels to him makes me enjoy the story.
But this novel didn't give a **** about that...
In this novel, MC is just a frustrated kid crawling amidst endless storm that just come to him for no freaking reason. All of the young masters are horny for his fiancee, friends and even his treasures. If that's not all, those young masters will not stop at that. The first MC's rival don't even have a shred of pretense and will just keep on sending minions to annoy the MC to death. And this trope of sending troubles will just repeat itself until even the graves of the ancestors of the enemy will crawl up just to make the MC suffer.
Of course MC will not die because that would be the end of the story. Random treasures will randomly appear under his feet. Random breakthroughs because those treasures are not completely refined.
That's fine in all. It is a cliche in eastern fantasy novel but damn this always happen even afters 400 chapters had already passed.
MC has a time cheat where his body will be in a state of time acceleration making him cultivate in almost 500x faster than anybody in real time. And this cheat was never showed its potential at all. It's just a cheat to compensate for his talent which is basically none at all. Author will just randomly say out of nowhere in the fight that MC used his time cheat to comprehend this godly techniques before the fight and boom enemy defeated.
Seriously I started loving this novel when Su Yu entered the arc where he was taken in by the Duke to be fostered as a talent and marry the main heroine Xianer but author just flipped the entire novel's potential when everything was in chaos. The prince of the kingdom raided the Duke's palace with a fake imperial edict and now everything is fked. This chapter started the endless cycle of power up and revenge.
Story cycle:
Friend/Fiancee Kidnapped - - - -> MC powers up by going around the mountaind randomly stepping in godly cultivation treasures - - - - -> Badass MC comes face slapping everyone in his path -------> MC will beat up main target of revenge but all of enemy's allies from the elders, patriarchs, or even the rotting ancestors in the graves will rise up just to beat up the MC until he is coughing up blood in regret asking why the heaven is so cruel - - - - - -> MC will almost die and suddenly discovers a random cave where he will breakthrough to an unknown realm - - - - - - > An even more badass MC will come out with a change of hair color and more handsome than before. He will face slap everyone until he meets an elder who actually has a connection to a powerful sect - - - > Gets beaten down until gets his a$$ saved by a random person - - - > RINSE AND REPEAT
The premises is different to other novels and the characters are fairly developed when compared to other Chinese novels, hopefully it continues to update.
Well, it's Er Gen. I simply trust him that much. None of his novels has disappointed us so far. I'm just too excited ... Of course, we'll have to see the quality when it's finally out
Quidan stealing novels is about as low as you can get....
I mean i much prefer their website and app over Wuxiaworld, but equally i would prefer to have millions instead of the bank, but I still dont go around breaking into them.....
Please stop this S*** Quidan!
First 40 chapters are done by a good translator, but chapters 41 onwards are complete garbage done by a machine translator with so many spelling and grammar errors that its give me a headache just trying to read it.
I like the story (I have read 130+ chapters) but there are two things that I don’t like and those are the long and unnecessary descriptions and the grammar. But at least the grammer is nothing major (at least the author does not confuse he and her pronouns). If minor grammar mistakes and long descriptions don’t bother you then you should give the story a try.
EVIL MC readers assemble, we have a case of romance. You know what to do
is this dropped or the author is just a translator?
Sir Flow, I have read until chapter 5(included), so this review will be based on your first five chapters.
Writing Quality;
I didn't come across typing mistakes, but there were a few missing words. There were some unnecessarily wordy sentences, but I have never bothered myself with it when reading. I think sometimes even wordy sentences are necessary. You know better than me, sometimes who have to use that word, and your 'wordies' aren't smirking to the reader when reading. :)
There are three more serious points in your chapters(Not in your writing quality).
Chapters are toooo long. I picked a random chapter, copied it to the Microsoft word, and it said to me there were more than 2.5k words. That isn't actually a problem, but when combined with your too long paragraphs and unnecessary descriptions, it is deadly serious.
With short paragraphs, readers will find it easier to read, and it will help retain them. Readers find novels via phone app and website. If you have large paragraphs, readers will find it harder to keep up/read.
You are describing almost everything in a scene. You should categorize them under two subjects. The descriptions readers would care and wouldn't care.
'Forcing myself to read' term comes from these mistakes in my opinion.
Considering your writer carrier in Italy, and you having an editor, my rating for you is 3.5/5.
Stability of updates;
There is nothing to say. You released 86 chaps in just 94 days. It is a 5/5 in my book.
Story development;
In my opinion, this is the most complicated aspect of a novel when reviewing it. I have read only 5 chapters, some of the authors even reading less when reviewing. We can't know what will happen in the story. I mean we can be suddenly in a reverse corner in the face of an event in the stories development and everything before the event can gain meaning instantly.
I'll only judge one point. Why did you put the flashback in the second chapter? And a long flashback at that. You could put it in a later chapter, or you could keep it ******. The sword picked up my interest in the first chapter, and puff! It disappeared in the second chapter. That's why I am giving you 4/5.
Character design;
Again it is early to judge with only reading 5 chapters. All I can say everything is looking normal in the first five chapters. As long as the characters don't have contradictions in their characters, it is ok. So, 4,5/5. I didn't give 5/5, because they aren't perfect.
World background;
Some things weren't clear enough, or I couldn't understand. Are they in a game? If not, is he aware of his system? Or is it everyone's system(like a shared interface)? How much mana does Helial have?
These kinds of questions kept popping out in my mind. I won't be harsh about world background since it is early for an accurate judgment.
3.5/5 for the world background.
P.S; Story is good actually. After reading chap 5, I had the feeling that things will get lively. If the novel didn't have the negative points that I had talked about earlier in this review, I would read it, honestly, despite not having much time after me becoming an author in webnovel.
One more thing, Sir Flow had said before, the original story has already reached more than 300 chapter count and it is number one web novel in Italy. I believe your current self is much different from the you from years ago. Keep up the good work :)
Love it! I like this sort of novel the best so I hope you can continue to write it at comfortable pace and not burn yourself out. I like the mix of different fantasy elements too keeps it fresh.