My 6 Alphas Fan Fiction (COMPLETED) - Reviews

*This just my initial review*okay Mr. Author..the concept of your story is.. good, i cant say great but.. average and for me its good..but your style of writting is not good for short-med chapter.conversations is broken by explanations, Info dump here and there. should make AUX chapter rather than dump on chapters because it feel cheap for pay-to-read.example of conversations..MC: "Hello there"*Explanations of something useless or irrelevant*Girl: "hey, how're you"*inner monologoue with 2-4 paragraph of explanations*that is not good style of writting for short-med chapter my bro..if you want that style, you have to be use 10-15K words, and cant be less..this is just my opinions.because this annoying for me, that Also this is PAY-TO-READ. this is not worth kinda feeling i have. maybe just for me, but maybe there is some readers feel the same.i dont know, thanks.

Well, the only thing i can say about this work is marvelous.There are only few novels that make me shiver when i'm reading them. Hope that this shiver will always be present when i'm reading this piece of art.

I tried to give this story a chance. I really did.  However, the author introduces concepts without much thought. He says one thing when he means another. At a certain point, it looks like there are just missing chapters.  He introduces a character, Irene, but never explains how she meets up with the MC. For a number of chapters, the author refers to a chicken seller. No idea if this is slang for something or if it means exactly what it says.  The reason for my confusion, is that the MC doesn't have any chickens. At least none were introduced.  I will have to stop reading the story at this point.  The MC has started making plans, and is thinking to himself, but it is not done in a logical or coherent manner causing the reader to have difficulty understanding the thought process of what is going on.

Really cool .................................................................................................................................

A brilliant piece of work, unique story with suspense and adventure, beautifully written. The story keeps you hooked and the characters keep you captivated. This deserves a lot more appreciation. I'm glad I found this gem.

Love the drama at the beginning! The system is my favorite part honestly though! It's comical when it brings up death to the host! Keep up the good work!

Jens : "Wait… then again, how?"

Kola nuts act as a flavoring and the source of caffeine in Coca-Cola. In Britain, for example, the ingredient label states "Flavourings (Including Caffeine)."[74]Kola nuts contain about 2.0 to 3.5% caffeine, are of bitter flavor, and are commonly used incolasoft drinks. In 1911, the U.S. government initiatedUnited States v. Forty Barrels and Twenty Kegs of Coca-Cola, hoping to force Coca-Cola to remove caffeine from its formula. The case was decided in favor of Coca-Cola. Subsequently, in 1912, the U.S. Pure Food and Drug Act was amended, adding caffeine to the list of "habit-forming" and "deleterious" substances which must be listed on a product's label.

"Why are you here?"

At this point, more of the marine soldiers were already clear headed. They hurriedly got themselves together and woke the others up.

Walking into the doctor's office he sat down as the doctor offered him some tea.

The moment they got through the exit door, they were greeted by a great hall, one that looked to go on forever.