WHEN R U COMING BACK TO KEEP WRITING???? THIS BOOK I GREAT AND I LOVE IT!!!! PLEASE COME BACK AND START WRITING AGAIN!!!!!
It’s romance abort mission mmmmmmmmmmmmm
The story is (as the author frequently mentions) quite the cliche. However, I don't really mind that. An author doesn't have to reinvent the wheel to write an amazing story. Fuethermore, the "second-chance VRMMORPG" genre is one of my absolute favourites. With that said, I would like to start my review.
The initial summary and the positive reviews made me incredibly excited. A gunslinger in a fantasy world? How fun and imaginative! Even though it's not 100% original, I don't mind it at all! The author might seem slightly too protective of his story and (honestly?) a bit scared of constructive critism, but, once again, I don't mind.
However, even after 20 chapters, the novel still doesn't seem like a VR story. Quite frankly it's like the author cant bring himself/herself to decide whether to write a LitRPG or a "transported to a different world" novel. Even characters (NPCs) that are utterly pointless (and are literally AIs) are introduced with a whole lifestory attached to them. Why? What does this information contribute to the story? It is a game. Not a real world.
However, honestly I wouldn't have minded this so-called 'game' if it wasnt for the excessive swearing. The protagonist is a 34 year old pro VR gamer yet even after reincarnating he acts and talks as if he is a child. How he (supposedly) controlled a guild with 5,000,000 players in it is utterly beyond me.
I know it can be difficult to write in informal language. But just adding cursewords into sentences doesn't solve it.
Oh yeah, and he is called "manco" (japanese for vagina). The former void assassin, super player, reincarnated guildmaster literally adopts the name pu**y in his quest for vengence...
So yeah. In conclusion: I dropped it.
As in my previous comment I emphasize that it is rushing the story and not doing real world building, I will add that there is a huge problem with the interaction of the characters and the plot in general, where did they meet? When? How did they meet? How was the process of finding a publisher? When did the MC start acting classes? How did he meet his teacher, being that he's a renowned former actor? How was the audition for the role in the theater play and when did it happen?
Honestly, I don't want to sound condescending but it is necessary that you as an author acquire the mentality of asking questions in order to be able to flesh out the plot, because in the current picture it seems that the character just gets the things he wants without any difficulty, besides, it sucks that you put things in that should be implied, such as the character's lack of general inexperience in what is due to things like business, among other things. It takes time to improve, take your time and start acquiring a more inquisitive mindset and this will greatly improve your writing.
This is one of those rare occasions where I can appreciate both the story AND the author!
The story itself was fairly linear to start, but that quickly changed...
Why did it change?
I'm glad you asked!
BlueLighttotheWest genuinely cares about the readers and listens to the comments. He also responds to the comments which is a nice change of pace!
Thanks to this ****** fact, a good stort became a great one!
So for those of you who are judging this novel by the first bit of the story, please take me at my word and trust that this story gets better and better as it goes on.
So then, the by the numbers review:
-Writing Quality: 4/5. For those of you doubting this, just keep reading. Our author is growing along with our MC!
-Stability of Updates: 4/5. Life happens and we're only human. Sh*t happens! When life doesn't give the author flu-shaped lemons, the chapters keep pouring in!
-Story Development: 5/5. I gave a 5 for two reasons; the first being the exceedingly fast pace at which the MC and story escalates, as well as the fact that BlueLighttotheWest listens and has enhanced the plot as he learns more about writing this sort of novel and it continues to grow magnificently!
-Character Design: 5/5. This one should be obvious to the actual readers, but for those who haven't had the chance yet, our MC is unique and has great depth, not to mention the potential for so much development! He literally starts as a baby! The only way to go is up!
-World Background: 4/5. The missing star is only the fauly of this type of story. The world changes very quickly and there is little time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Otherwise, the imagery is well done and the universe is pretty well organized.
So overall, 4/5 stars. Though to be honest, the story is only increasing in readability. There was one moment where I started to feel the story was about to go downhill. Immediately after having that thought, there was an shift in the environment which immediately brought me back in.
For those that felt this review was too long and didn't read it and just skipped to the end etc...
Read this. It's great. :)
In the first few chapters aren't that good. but after the chapter 10 the story progress,the chapter 17 is the best way to put it. author keep it up
Please add lots of realms it make it interesting and others as well like , more quest but don’t make long unless it’s main quest, more martial techniques more disciple more talent like alchemy, acupuncture, formation, blacksmith, and other earning lots of points buying lots of thing making a grand sect in each realm make mc godlike and make chapters longer
why isn't this on the fanfic section.
also a good fanfic if you wanna read.
Hey lol I have no plans to read this. Honestly I just saw the cover and wanted to say the person looks like he got rejected from art school.
Anyways that was my piece. So long
Bien mais l'auteur est trop engagé dans la lutte LGBT que ça gâché l'histoire.
Le plus frappant et pour l'histoire sur sakura ou elle accuse LITTÉRALEMENT tous ce qui ne pense pas comme elle ou qui n'agissent pas comme elle le veut d'homophobe et de transphobe.... une féministe radical typique.
Mais sinon bonne histoire
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!dropped???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Character design is vivid. I can already make out what Sanjay looked like and her attributes. Story wise although not much to say at the moment (3 chapters) do leave me wanting to know more.