It’s so poorly written I couldn’t get past the first chapter. I stopped at the conversation with his mother. I understand this is the author’s first book, but why publish the first uneditted draft? It’s not a fun read when I’m editing as I read.
You know when a webnovel is written by an amateur when its title has grammatical errors. "I can mind-reading" lol
This story is a wild mix of fun and dark. The slice-of-life vibes with Jason and Erica are hilarious but don't get in the way of the plot which continues to stack up. The Story constantly surprises me with really weird stuff like a girl shitting out eggs.
Here to give some advice!!First thing you have to fix is to slow down the story the way I see it right now is that everything is going to fast.Second is the character thinking and speaking try to put this “thinking” and this as ‘speaking’ it helps or you can look online to find what is better to suit you.Three it seems that all the characters are speaking in one paragraph you should fix that no one’s want to read multitudes characters in one paragraph which it’s confusing for a lot of readers.Fourth dont rush the story it seems that you are just putting what comes to mind which is good but put some logic into it and put some background story or some context of other characters like the first chapter i had no idea what was happening try to understand form the reader point of view we don’t understand what your thinking so the only way to show it is to explain to the reader what is happening but not to much info because no one likes it. “Good luck”Not my first language so sorry for not understanding it.Try to learn from other people work it helps.
shameless author here is asking you all to just read in your pace and tell me if there are mistakes or errors.I am solo in writing this story but I'm having so much fun that I want it to be perfect for you all?
It was a fun read. It was slow in the beginning but I enjoyed it. The writing quality needs little editing. Sometimes you write information which is of no use. Like I was confused who was speaking. Try to cut down few sentences.Overall, I really liked the characters you introduced. I only read few chapters so I can’t comment but if I have time I’ll keep reading and then write full review.All the best author.
Hello, I have a tip that I believe could enhance the theme of your book, and I’m eager to share it with you. I deeply admire your writing and think this insight could resonate well with your audience and add an interesting layer to your narrative.If you’re open to it, I would love the opportunity to discuss this idea further. I genuinely believe it aligns beautifully with your vision for the book.Telegram:@mamecrush011Instagram: mameecrushDiscord: mamecrusha
rare)
Of course you bazingga.
"Hi Ifritz."
Never! Never! Never!
gusto niyang talikuran ang masamang gawain para matanggap siya ng pamilya ng nobya..