This story had so much potential and plot to it..but the came the MC. Now I don't know if the MC is just dumb or if the author is 4. The MC told another stick that he was blessed by a god (his trump card) and that he use to be a human! He willingly does it! The author makes some BS like nobody's perfect, well clearly not. The author Is so awful with common sense that I instantly dropped the novel.
"Wait a moment; I still have to give you the imprint of access here in the temple."
"AHH! What was that for!"
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Hello everyone! Just gonna pop this here, but I truly hope everyone gives this novel a chance. Join me on this journey of fleshing out this world and character, let me know what you think! I love any type of constructive criticism since I am still a fledging writer.
The world building is good as you can see it has mysteries which leave us to wonder. I like the mc personally I feel like I would relate to mc he feels very human not too arrogant and a bit of humor. The characters are described well. Great work and keep it up.
Personally speaking, I feel like this book has potential ;it being a rebate type system, however the fact that it's EXTREMELY fast past, and I do very much emphasize the extremely really throws readers off because it's pace is faster than the luxury cars being introduced after only what...2 days? that alot of things are not fleshed out and the characters aren't given much depth because of this. For example, he suddenly drives a luxury car despite being poor and depressed 24-48 hours before yet his brother has 0 reactions or thoughts, his father's girlfriend is like 'oh well, he probably won the lottery. He takes his brother shopping, packs the bags into the car after purchasing a luxury watch(which, by calculations should have been over his budget) , yet there's no mention of the brother after and he just goes to his new condo to sleep....where did the little boy disappear to during the shopping trip? There are actually a lot more plots holes that stems from the novel being too fast pace. Hopefully the author slows down, reviews and revise and insert some necessary filler chapters and patch the holes.
I hate the first person style and the way you describe everything
So far so good! Keep it up! Enjoy reading!
I'm a huge fan of these kinds of books but even if I wasn't, I would've read it because the author knows the way to catch the reader's attention. The book is written so beautifully that I can picture it in my head. The suspense and the curiosity had me biting my nails every sentence. It's definitely worth a read.
Hello everyone: 3I, the reader of this novel, can give my first impression of the novel when I read more than 30 chapters.It was a nice start to begin with, but then it got a bit boring.The author points to the MC living alone since he was 10 years old alone and without parents.He tells us how he failed the ranker exam twice and how he faced traps and battle experience.But when I continued reading it I saw that the knowledge of MC is like a child seeing the world for the first time when he assured that he would reach the top of power without even a ring (something that 90% of the population has)He falls in love with a chick in just ... What? 10 chapters? The author forces a plot to pursue the damsel with a powerful family that at first glance is far from her reach.What? From one chapter to another he forced a ridiculous purpose when he had hundreds of better ways.And not to mention that he acts like a knowledgeless stupid in front of others.Anyway 4/10 In my experience.
Hello, I am the author.The rhythm of the novel starts a bit slow, but then it picks up and I think it becomes exciting.I have tried to make the characters vivid and believable. I don't like to create a villain who is simply evil and idiotic, nor an MC like that.I focus quite a bit on the characters and their emotions, so there will be several characters who have emotions and thoughts that can be seen in the novel.I think there are many exciting and a bit strange elements (For example, different layers of the system, which can connect with other users, and exotic powers of different people like a necromancer who uses teleportation magic).The world is wide and I try to bring it to life, showing different events in the work, for example descriptions of scenes that happen in other places in the world or universe.