bom
so im going to be upfront and say ive only made it to around chapter 20 but I see a lot of early problems. first there is barely any sense of scale or description of the city the mc is in. you can assume its a capital cuty as its the city the king lives. you get no sense of how big the city is what It looks like no contrast between the rich and the poor areas little to no description on the buildings so it feels pretty dull and you have to do a lot of work on the reading end to fill these large blanks. the pacing is rediculously fast and a lot of things are either explained retroactively when they have to inform the mc’s decision. we just have to go along with it and accept the decision as a good one becuase we have nothing to inform a what would we do scenario. this was the main thing that bothered my with the fleeing the kingdom decision because we have no sense of scale, how long would he have to travel I wonder? a day apparently. to escape a KINGDOM. you are told that “oh yeah btw this whole kingdom is built to serve the nobles” with no supporting evidence of people being treated like dirt and nobles stompimg over everyone nobody treats mc badly other than random thug 1, 2, and 3. some things are shockily modern like a shower and toothpaste which just makes the worldbuilding even more out of wack. im relatively detail oriented and when a world almost completely lacks details and causality ouside the mc I kinda get really bored really fast. if youre the same well I say you probably wont like this book much.
some advice for the author that you can take into consideration if you want:
fantasy is a pretty rough place to start writing because you have to build a whole world from scratch because there are no irl places you can really use to inform peoples understanding of your new world especially when its technological development is vastly behind ours. I mention detail above and just sparse amounts to give the citty some sense of scale is the size of houses a simple line of densly packed two story buildings can make a city seem super bustling and you can contrast it with something like the streets emptied like mice escaping a hungry cat when say the thugs show up. it can show that the whole street take these people seriously and makes them seem more dangerous. you could also have the surrounding people act like nothing was happening or support the thugs to show the worlds attitude towards the mc. by no means must this advice be followed but things like this really help pit things in perspective for the reader and helps build suspense
I am really am enjoying it so far it’s amazing that you’re not just taking the story beats from the original stories one by one so far that’s the only thing I’m getting from other infinite story books yours is something very unique and I found myself enjoying every bit of it please continue to write such an amazing work.
thanks for the effort author-san
Dunno if I wanna read this to be honest. The chapters are seriously short, I can get over it. The story is incredibly slow-going. Then the fact he phone glows a bright light and changes into a new phone and he DOESN'T check it out at all!?
I'm sorry, Author are you confused in the head? Who wouldn't check out their phone after that, even if they were going out for a day with their sister.. just check it out whilst walking around with her..?
This novel should have disclaimers for incredible amounts of gore and disturbing content. Obviously, the nature of any literary content is up to the author’s discretion! However, authors should still be responsible enough to put some disclaimers up when they publish such content so that a potential reader can decide for themselves if they want to to read such content. Simply, it should be a simple courtesy.
*Disclaimer: Read up to chapter 16.*
The plot has a steady pace and that pace is, in all honesty, slow. There are paragraphs that have “jumps of thought” where something is missing, making it difficult to follow. There are already plot holes being only at Chapter 16... Characters personally feel clunky. There are cases where the author is rather obviously using deus ex machina to fix even the simplest plot points; using them in nothing more than just basic human interactions, no less— there isnt even a weak excuse given for absurdity, its just.. there? I’m a naturally curious person who will hold on tightly to bad writing just to learn the plot, a character, some piece of world building, a slightly interesting take on a trope or what not... I want to know more about this world... but I personally won’t pursue reading it.
These are my thoughts on this novel. It has more interest in creating scenes of gore and violent action than creating a story- and what I was looking for was the story.
The story and the supernatural elements seems engrossing. The world building seems fine so far with interesting characters. Especially the little demon girl, would like to see how she develops and hope she has her soul mate coming up xD
The characters each have their own personalities, merits and flaws the main character is smarter than most even if he hasn't learned much... I enjoy the world its built in and I can't wait for more!
To be honest. The story is pretty good and well written. But the side storys, in which side characters are introduced are way to long. Tbh it feels like there are less chapters about the mc then there are about side characters. And even if the focus shifts back to the mc its not rly relevant or a major part of the story. Last time he just ate/consumed some rocks and talked with a weird lazy silver guy.And the impact these side characters at the end have arent nearly worth the chapters it took to introduce them and flesh out there personality. (at least the last time)The last "antagonist" (the dude with the weird item) just randomly got eaten by the mc after his plotarmor broke.It just feels stretched and unaccessary.Anyway i hope this isnt the case with this New bad guy and i hope that there will be more focus on the actual mc of the story.Currently at chapter 49Hope you have a great day.Bye
As someone who’s over 600 chapters in, the story shouldve ended long ago. now it’s just the same thing over and over again with long boring arcs that make no sense. not entirely the authors fault as i sincerely doubt I would be able to write a book thats this long, but still it feels like he’s running out of Ideas.
I think I read same kind of novel but I forgot the name! ?The content was more or less same + adult content. I dropped the novel later though..
The world background is amazing, really thought out. Really like it.......................................................... keep the updates coming.