Ok, Ima be straight with you bro. This was painful to read. The dialogue is rough, although clear. I mean to say that while the grammar is good, some of what they're saying makes no sense if you think about it from the way an actual conversation works and flows. Granted, I didn't read that far, but if you think about the dialogue in the conversations you're writing and it doesn't make sense to you, it probably will not make sense to readers. I don't say this at all as hate or anything, I say this in encouragement. Believe me, your work so far is not at all as bad as others I've seen, by far. Good job so far and good luck.
@chapter 43. So far so good. If you can oerlook some grammatical errors, then this one is for you. My only concern is there is still no Lemon scene lol. He already met a succubus and a hot witch and still no H Scene cmon Dude You said there will be and H scene
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leozhan2020*@*gmail.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
Hey!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to email mollyringdom*@*gmail.com (delete *）
We are mainly looking for adventurous novels (Fantasy, Sci-fi, Paranormal Urban, Action, Thriller/Suspense, Game Fiction). A brief introduction along with a few samples or links will be appreciated when reaching out. You might be our next top writer!
One thing that I like about this novel is, Is how you deliver what the MC doing, and thinking and also how you deliver it as a narrator. every chapter is long and it's a good thing also every title of your chapters literally would make the readers curious and excited to read more of it. to be honest it is my first time reading about a transmigration novel about modern sports. it feels unique and new to me.
This is just so cheesy. You could probably replace this novel with a recording of a guy saying "be nice to poor people, money doesn't matter" on repeat, and nobody would notice. Also, feels like the author probably received money to advertise someone's car brand.
Not really the type of story that I would enjoy. The 'system' is more of a minor cheat that offers a method to completely comprehend written techniques. It only allows the MC to learn techniques that are written down, drawn, or have some sort of visual que left over. Possibly sword scars would work. It does not allow him to learn techniques from watching someone perform it at least not so far. Explanations and lectures are also out. As far as it being a system, he gets a system window that gives him a record of his techniques and cultivation level. There is no menus or store functions. There is no interaction with it either except when he is able to merge two techiques. So I would just call it a cheat with a visual que.As for story development it starts with the MC captured by bandits and fortunately finds some sort of scribbling on the wall of his cell that provides him a couple of low level techniques. This allows him to slowly overcome the bandits by luring individuals to the prison. The story seems to be about how the MC is trying to acquire more techniques or higher level techniques. He goes to bookstores looking for books that will trigger his progress bar. He finds a woman with a tattoo that triggers it as well. I ended up skimming through it because it just did not excite me much. There did not seem to be much draw mentally for me.
so far I like it 5 ? keep it up your stuff is always good
Well, this is a promising book and I would say keep up the good work.I haven't actually read sci-fi on a complete balance, but this, is one good start.well-done author, wish you well.?️
not my cup of tea. others may try it out.
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definitely give it a try . nice concept, good character development, great one of my favourite novel nice development and story line really good. ?