sami_funges
I love this story... great plot, great family, great friendship.
i threatened them with my own will so i colbob was born
"Yeah, Jay. You already warned us about it and we'll take care of ourselves. You guys train as well." I replied to Jay.
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would be good the author can write nice but over does ot by writing the same paragraph six times worded differently. I don't meed read a thesaurus. I've given up after 90 chapters got bored the story constantly repetive no real progress theese 90 chapters could of been done in 15. the system loosely talked about more quest for mc grow and develop is needed. the story concept is great would live read more but got so repetive and slow I had give up .
It was a struggle to get to ch83 and I’m giving up. MC is dump and everything seems too complicated the cards are also very annoying. I still don’t know how everyone has a their own pocket world.
You need to learn grammar and spell check it it hurts my eyes looking how sloppy this work is go **** yourself your not qualified to write. Go back learning basic and importantly your words are **** like heavey what the **** is that spelling .
would happily edit this on my time off. and that's really the only issue i see with this novel. great start, a so far intelligent mc, and street fighter!
barbarian society teaching us about a man who came on a flying horse and married a 6 ye old girl and consumared it when she was 9 yr old. extremely barbaric religion.
The actual football content is good, the games are described in good detail, tactics are in place and you can suspend your disbelief to enjoy a super goalkeeper. What’s dragging this story down by this point (chapter 200) is the increased focus on the Chinese National team, it’s all nonsense. The league is corrupt? Disband the entire league, sack the management, naturalize 10 Spanish players and win the World Cup (it’s getting there, the MC has conceded 2 goals in 2 years, and that’s because it was Messi and Ronaldo). It’s getting ridiculous, you can have a story about the national football team, but be realistic, you have a miraculous goalkeeper you never concedes goals, good, but then your problem is the attack. It would make more sense for the Chinese team to advance in the World Cup because of MC but in the end failing because they can’t score. That way it’s satisfying to readers because MC proves his worth but it’s also realistic in that the Chinese team is nothing to write home about. I was enjoying this story, but as the World Cup keeps getting dragged in its getting more stale and boring. 3/5 for the first 180 chapters, then going downhill
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