Ya Zhouyue began to walk down the hall and entered his room without looking back. Once he reached his room, he just entered. As to what he did after that, it is unknown.
"Does that mean you are forfeiting and refusing your right to seconds?" teased Evangeline
its hard to see the actual text so
It makes me feel as if I am present. Like the scene is happening in front of me. As a fan of supernatural and fantasy movies and books, I am so interested in knowing what would happen next.I really love this book?
Nice hcidbcixidjenxiiee use by ebcisijsjddjjdjddjdhxhxhx
more chapters I'm impatientit nice and interesting
at first I thought I found some hidden gem in the pile of trash in webnovel...the tow first chapters were promising..a serious mc with a great cheat kinda gave me the vibes of some epic cultivation novel...yet the moment the academy arc began everything went downhill...the mc got his first friend..yep the same fatty trope everywhere...and the we start an unending series of "whoha" and some childish shit..then the female friend with a tragic past...the author was trying to build a comedic atmosphere with a touch of some heartwarming moments and he failed miserably....the academy that was supposed to be some huge behemoth was gathering with its headmistress to watch a match between tow newbies that just started a week ago...there is no depth at all and everything seems shallow...the magic was absolutely trashy..I thought I was reading some martial art novel...the author messed and delivered a very poor power system.....I can rant nonstop about the bad things in this story..so I will say it's a story full or overused cliche...no depth...no a single thing intresting..it may suit some new readers but as someone whe read hundreds of books...this novel only belong to the trash category
-Kitchen-
"Ms Seoyeon, please deliver this to the Design Team."
Writing Quality: 4/5Your chapters are well-written, I really enjoyed reading through them due to the detailed descriptions. Your vocabulary is also quite good. I'm reading on my PC so some of the paragraph lengths don't bother me as much. However, you could consider separating a few of your paragraphs (mainly information about the world, an object, or a place) to make them shorter. That way, mobile readers won't be faced with text walls. In regard to grammar and mechanics, I'd recommend editing through your chapters once you've written them. There are one or two spelling mistakes which can be easily corrected.Stability of Updates: 5/5I'm not sure about your schedule for updates, but it's pretty consistent right now.Story Development: 4/5The development of your novel so far is good. You have introduced the protagonist (as well as his background and relationships), then depicted the direction of the novel. You have also hinted at a subplot/complication in the second chapter which may be important in the future, which increases the urge to continue reading. I like the action in the latest chapters, but I'd suggest adding more sensory detail to enhance your writing.Character Design: 4/5Your characters are designed really well. I like how you have weaved in little details that enrich the personalities of your characters. (E.g: Riley making sure to pick the burnt pancakes for himself.) This creates depth in your characters, and also demonstrates the relationship and bond between the siblings ^ - ^ The banter between the brother and sister pair is also very realistic. In regard to other characters, I like how you have incorporated Riley's thoughts about them in your descriptions. Rather than blandly listing their characteristics, you have presented them in a more fluid and natural manner.World Background: 4/5I like your execution of worldbuilding ^ - ^. I generally don't read cyberpunk novels, however, you have written it in a way that's ****** and clear to understand. I've mentioned this before above, but I enjoy how you've connected information regarding the world with Riley's thoughts and comments in your writing. This way, it's more interesting and seems more authentic.I enjoyed reading this, good luck with future chapters ~
Update please!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????????????????????????????????????????
A very interesting story. The beginning and the end are unpredictable. The story is dynamic, the text block has some rough edges. But these are trifles compared to the magnificent content of the story.This is a very intriguing novel!