Enjoyable storybuilding but severely needs an editor, feels like it could use grammar work done. honestly don’t understand how its got so many 5 stars ?
Quite the interesting story right here. Tbh I'm not really a fan to science-fic because there's to many stuff to research.You did well as an author and researched most of the science problems that could result from time travel for that I applaud. Keep going forward with your story, don't give up half-way for the reason that you don't have views because you'll realize as you write day by day the fact that there will be a small following always looking forward to seeing your story going forward.Good luck forward, and don't get discouraged in what you're trying to do.P.S Even myself I type who writes dark stuff can feel the emotions you want to share to the viewer in the MC agony of reliving the moments his soulmate perished. This part got me good, with that limbo of the mind.
Good story flow although a couple of parts in the beginning seemed a little forced. Still the author continued to improve throughout and even corrected the forced section through plot in latter chapters
Caught up and waiting on updates lol ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????
The entire sentence structure is a mess. I wasn't even able to read through the first paragraph. The author really needs to correct the sentences. I am not trying to be a grammar Nazi. I am simply saying to correct the sentence structure, make it readable please. Add colon's, quotation marks, paragraph breaks etc. The style of writing choosen is 3rd person narrative, but it kinda goes around the curve on most sentences. I am looking forward to see where this goes, if the author cleans up.
This story is a great change of pace. After tons of stories with dark backgrounds this helps to heal a little of that “darkness” xd. ???????????????????????
Excellent grip of language and taught process ?? Fantabulous storyline✨✨. Keep posting us the delightful work?.. Keep up the good work ??. I'm thrilled!! Eagerly waiting for ur upcoming story track post it as soon as possible ??
I quite like the beginning and the premise of it. A world in which VR exists and is used for more than just games, though it has entered that frontier too. A story is about a ranker from the first VRMMO game that intends to go to the next one because the first game has finished. It does not seem all that special, but it is a twist that is not really used and I like it. The main character is a normal guy that has friends and a younger brother that will follow him into the game. I like the character design a lot, and have no complaints about it. World background is also interesting although it is just beginning.Fight on author.
There is a trial Gaming novel the same as this months ago, it was about Pubg this novel has less controlling system, lets the host do whatever he wants in his daily life and doesn’t simp for a Girl. but this gaming novel about LoL i thought its going to be better but it is so disappointing First or second chapter it immediately wants to Vegtable the host when he wants to reject it, The system controlls his love life, and such. He got a very contRolling sYstem and He a simp thats i wanna say.
This is interesting but it gets boring after you know the structure of the story. if you mainly like MC expanding his business through interesting ways this is the novel for you. Cultivation becomes the support material in this story, it isn't the main focus.
Hello, this is the author, TheAdventurer speaking, I have decided to dual host this story here in Qidian and Royalroadl, because I hope that I could reach out to a far more broad array of audiences that are here in Qidian. I know that some of you readers have come from Royalroadl and would much like to continue reading this story at Royalroadl. Thanks for supporting me all this time, and I hope that you will continue to do so.
Really liked this story, I liked the direction it was heading. Would really like to see it resurrected and continued.Djdudjdjsowowjendjfidiejejenrnfjcidjejdjdnxnfjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdd