Not bad, although I feel like its lacking a bit in the action part. Its really good though for someone who likes the soccer genre. Update faster and I'll drop Powerstones everyday
Can you please make more chapters??[img=coins]
I personally think this is one of the best OP MC light novels I've ever read, and I believe that as long as the author doesn't drop it, it will only get better with time. I don't know about how others feel, but I sincerely hope the author will see this story through to the end and maybe increase the amount of chapters released each week a bit. To show my support, I will dump every power stone I get into this story, and if it ever becomes possible, I'll give every golden ticket I have too. I'll also leave a small donation on the newest chapter.
How do I say it
The heroine is now in a male body
The hero will fall in love with a girl or a boy
I need to know this before I start reading
Do not get started. Story is pretty interesting but characters and setting are uneven. It is set in an alternative United States, NY where Businesses, Mafia, Government, and Karate people rule. Writing is often uneven. Events change sometimes, numbers change sometimes between chapters. Have to just let changes to characters or events not get to you.
Alex is smart and dumb depending. He usually makes bad choices. He purposely lets situations get out of hand or goads people to hate/berate him. Gets a bit tedious at points as important part of living in society is publicly berating 'poor' people or people who dress normally, over and over and over. The story abruptly ends at 748 'golden eggs' and becomes new story at 749 'underground' with just Alex and cosmic karma magic realms with continuous tedious fights and new cardboard characters that you won't care about.
It then ends up with Alex being an infinite-universes/multiverses timeline watcher/Fate and Alex messes around with different timelines for a while. He gets bored along with the reader, then literally jumps into a new timeline/universe where he forgets everything except what the new-timeline Alex knows. Its a different story starting at 886 'back to earth' with womanizing Alex with dramatic Debbie and (Yvonne since when?). Everyone is sleeping around and no one is really the same - liked the horse though - only character with real character. If you start the series at all, Stop reading/listening at 749. Gets tedious and story gets even more unsequenced and unbalanced after that.
Good novel
the development of the story is very slow also the character of the MC is very stupid. Rejecting SSS tier cultivation technique because he thinks its too hard to cultivate, what kind of idiotic mindset is that.
You asked for honest feedback, so I have been quite candid in this review. This does not mean I did not enjoy your story, or finds it immensely lacking. I am simply trying to help you progress by giving you some pointers.
Firstly, your dialogue comes across as wooden and unnatural. I believe it would help if didn’t put as much exposition in your dialogue.
Secondly, there is an absence of rhythm in your writing. I miss a cadence when reading your story. It does not necessarily withhold me from immersing myself, but it would help pull in your reader.
Lastly, and this one is more personal, but as a reader I wish for more texture. What are the surroundings like? How is the air? Does it smell? Is it clear? Is the sun blinding to the eyes?
I want to feel like I am there with you characters. Give me the cracks in the pavement and the chipped paint of shop signs. Give me the feel of the wind and the smell of spices in the air. That’s what transforms a story from good, to great. And that’s what pulls in your reader.
Overall, I believe this story has a lot of potential. It has a clear storyline with good characters, and writing. Well done!
good novel, but is it to hard to just check for grammar mistakes, i mean theres not a lot, but from you writing i can tell that it is sloppy mistakes, so please proof read it so that the story flows better. keep up the work :D
I love this story............................................................
............. please more chapter ........................................
Very cute romance slice of life novel. The world isn't very fleshed out, but the character designs and interactions are pretty good, though I am hoping for a time skip at some point so they aren't always so young. The quality is also pretty good in comparison to other novels on this site I've read, only a couple missing words here or there but it's hardly noticeable. Overall, definitely worth a read if you're into a cute romance between childhood friends!