This is a review from Chapter 1 to chapter 16 and so the things I discussed in my review might have been fixed already, writing Quality-2- The sentences could be better. It seems you fond of using 'to' in explaining the motives of actions. Consider trusting your readers. An example can be found in chapter 2. 'Once they had stepped inside, he reached for the button to send them to the ground floor.'This can be changed to'Once they had stepped inside, he reached for the ground floor button.'Another example can also be found in chapter 2.'the elevator chimed again to let them know that they had reached their destination.'This can be changed to'the elevator chimed and the door opened. They had arrived'Using 'to' is a little jarring. Aside from that, sentences can be shorter too. Take this example from chapter 12.'His own path to the office was made simpler by the private elevator that took him straight from the parking garage to the thirty-second floor where his office was.'The sentence is too long. The longer the sentences get, the weaker they are. Shorter sentences are easier to understand. Also better words could have been used in expressing the idea. 'A private elevator eased his access from the garage to his office in the thirty-second floor.'or'A private elevator simplified his access from the garage to his office in the thirty-second floor.'The thing is, readers don't actually want to read. They say they do but that is a misconception. Nobody wants to read. Reading is a tedious process. What the readers want is the information from. So if writers can express a story in a thousand words rather than two thousand, then that would ease the burden of reading. The job of writers is to lull the readers into believing a tale they crafted with the shortest word count possible. Stability of updates- 5- I don't really care much about stability of updates. Automatic 5.Story Development - 3- The story is about falling from heights and rising again with the help of several characters. As of chapter 16, the story is still kicking off which is partly because of the short chapters (which is not a bad thing). It feels like a slice of life novel despite being presented with an interesting conflict. Nothing much is happening. But I can see that the story needs to trek the path of being docile for now. Chance is still adjusting after all. I suggest bringing a few side conflicts to spice this slow beginning. Personality conflicts, backstories, things like that. But honestly, I can't really say much. I've already put the story in my library. I will resume reading soon and hopefully I can make another review after catching up with the latest chapters. Character Design-3- Chance is a broken man. What happened to him was tough. His journey from being broken into rising up again is a little fast in my opinion. Other than that I don't really have problems. World Background- 5- I don't get why Webnovel has this aspect in reviews. World background? What does that mean? If it means magic systems and the worlds in isekais, then what about novels which are not fantasies? They could have replaced this with dialogue or something.Additional notes- I have no qualms about the changing of perspectives. It happened a few times that I thought the perspective is in third person omniscient. But seeing the potential of the mystery surrounding Fait's character and the other mysteries too, I think omniscient point of view is a poor choice. Final score- I added 1 full star as consideration. Webnovels are not published novels after all. 4.6
Una entretenida lectura. Tiene sus alto y bajos pero realmente vale la pena. En lo personal me encanta hasta el momento.??????????????????
Marvelous!!!! too good for being a fan-fic i just love how the mc see the world as a zombie and is well written almost no errors i would like to continue seeing how this world develops
Sometimes I think it is not necessarily to read a lot of books, their level can be improved, really improve their own attitude to technology, many times learning is not technology, but a kind of their own ideas, when they can not even master the inner thoughts, it is simply not to talk about improving.Well, I will now talk about the book's perception, the difficulty of integrating network literature into mainstream literature, lies in the absence of literary critics, lies in the confusion of measurement standards, for a long time, literary critics of network literature collective aphasia, until the last year or two, many critics active in the field of literary criticism, only began to establish the evaluation system of network literature, it is rare that they quickly grasp the It is rare that they quickly grasp the charming kernel of network literature, and give high evaluation and high hopes to network literature. With the establishment of the theoretical system of network literature and the continuous improvement of network literature in terms of creative standards, it is clear that network literature has become the mainstream of mainstream literature, and we look forward to seeing more works of network literature selected.
I like how you describe things but, sadly, your grammar... It is only words that make your grammar wrong and if not, the sentence. Also, I suggest for you to tell us how your character feels too since it is 1st person. Please do tell us who Kerrigan is and how your character got to know her, helps readers who do not know what SC is. There are a lot of things that I can suggest but I think this is all I can say since you are using a POV that I am unfamiliar with. Anyway, noce story, hope there comes a time when you decide to clean the previous chapters b4 :D I'll keep this in my library!
Thanks for this wonderful story I liked reading it. I hope you can continue to do what you do and not to be upset by the negative comments))))))))))
I liked the story. A fresh touch in new storyline progress, character development and frequent updates. Once again I like reading this novel very much.
This is basically a uchiha fans wet dream. But great story. Loved reading it and great potential, hope it doesn’t decline but considering the authors quality, I don’t think that will happen
so i read it all like the 10 chapters and it pretty good I can say their are some grammatical errors but they are like 1 in a 140 word I have great expectations from this story it's good keep up bro
Well thank you very much for the story we still need to fill to the limitmore more more?????????????? ,?????? ???????????
I am liking this story. it is the first light novel that i have read of this kind. i cant wait to read more chapter of this amazing author. i hope that she keep up the good work .
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