"You have a large house, Okena-senpai. Do you live alone with Mia-san?" I asked her as she was leaving my room.
"She have to get comfortable with more people around to get rid of her phobia. Remember Ms. Kelly suggested to do so, Ms. Best friend!"
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"I'm sorry, there's someone who I must help in there." I said.
"Young master. It is cold outside. Would you like to come back in?" A voice could be heard from behind. Dylan turned around. A middle aged man with squinty eyes and black hair with strands of white could be seen on his head full of hair. The man's waist was slightly bent and his arm was crossed over his right shoulder in a show of subservience and respect.
1) I went through all my chapters and I found tons of grammatical mistakes and some major plot holes. Let me tell you a few.
"Ya, Its fine. It was nothing important anyway." she brushed her hair behind her ear.
As if picking the hint, Fei Dream said
She grabbed the black covered book from the grass and placed it on the table. It was a plain book, with no kind of decorations on the front. A simple, old, black blook.
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I poured my heart into this story, and I believe it will touch yours too. Follow Lucifero, the Morning Star, as he navigates a world of divine powers and dark destinies. This journey of self-discovery and defiance against fate is one I am proud to share. I hope it captivates and moves you as much as it did me.
Not a great story don’t recommend.