interesting start i think the grandfather is an intriguing character...world building is good... storyline seems promising...there are spelling mistakes I think you can use grammarly for corrections..but I'm giving 5 stars because as a non-native English speaker i can understand that some mistakes are likely to happen, it doesn't change how good the story is...best of luck
I am Loving this! Just wish the mecha had pictures to go with them lol.Max has system skills that remind me of Kira and his FREEDOM!
Kinda exhausting to read. Seems a bit like another novel which was dropped, I wonder if it's the same author.There's annoying stuff like everyone praising MC in the world channel everytime, some people acting like they're the protagonist n considering MC as an enemy to trample on, an innocent girl who also has a legendary talent but being dependent on the MC, NPCs being impressed or being fanatical for some small things.Currently has about 300 chapters in the raws, so it might have gotten better or it's getting worse n worse n the author is still writing it, only to be dropped soon.
Nice concept, I like it.Everything is fine I guess, but I have some thoughts about where is the 'magic concept' I thought the MC will have something like fire ball skill, lighting skill, or something like that, so he can use it for do something lewd.
The author has a unique approach on the story as he switches perspective between engaging with the readers and strorytelling. In fact, it was rather immersive— that is until cut scenes of information jump into the picture and leaves one lamenting the sudden disruption! Some people might think, I don’t like info dumb, and straight up quit from reading… Well, don’t quit just yet! The story has got potential in it (coming from someone who read a very populare novel with a similar theme.)
PLEASE VOTE FOR ME AND PROVIDE YOUR SUPPORT FOT THE NOVEL.
HOPE YOU ALL LOVE THE WORLD OF MRM
KINDLY COMMENT BELOW, TO ENABLE ME TO RATE MY OWN WORK
I havent read it yet, just take a look for while. Looks interesting and i will read it later after it has 10 or 30 chapter above. Btw is there any player from qatar in this novel?
Wow boring that i cannot focus half a paragraph droping it .i dont recommend people who enjoy reading modern ln .mayb people like it whatever but this wasted so much of my time i could have found a good ln to enjoy this ln couldnt be read and booring
As of this review, only 14 chapters have been posted.
Writing quality—not the best, but definitely not the worst. If I had to compare it to other original works on this site, it probably ranks somewhere around the middle of the spectrum. There are mistakes, but it’s nothing the author can’t fix with a good amount of editing. Quite readable.
A story which focuses on an elderly or veteran person is not an original concept, but it is definitely a rare one; this story centres around a German grandma—Flora Fluss—who was an engineer in her heyday. Here we get to see what happens when a workaholic retires from her highly demanding job and finds another platform to invest her time in. She’s got an obsession with perfection—as do many others in her profession—and this causes many shenanigans to occur, and because of her rather logical and somehow persuasive personality, everybody seems to be swept by her pace.
As I am not an engineer or an elderly person bored out of her mind, I found it hard to relate to the character. Nonetheless, Flora is quite charming with her old-lady behaviour and deep passion over her projects. The toaster part adds to the charm, and I, as a reader, could not help but wonder what other mayhem she would cause. After all, a senior citizen can cause plenty of havoc—and nobody can stop them! Because that would be rude! One should respect the elders! I can somehow imagine Flora manipulating the ‘elderly’ card to get her way...
Moving on, the author writes in a relatively convincing style, to the point where even if the author was bull****ting, I wouldn’t have noticed it. Case in point is the very long character creation arc, whereby the character, Flora, spends several in-game days to modify and rebuild her avatar from scratch. It was very draggy, but it seems to be a necessary part of the story as it laid the foundations of Flora’s character as a whole, and also show what she is capable of given time and tools. Personally, I found that some parts of it seemed too convenient, but this can be argued that the ‘convenience’ is attributed to Flora’s decades of experience—she is supposed to be a retired engineer, and we all know that retired professionals are a treasure trove of experience and expertise.
Though the format of LitRPG is better suited to other sites (eg RoyalRoad, ScribbleHub, etc) since they actually have the proper writing tools suited to the genre, I find that (as a layman) the information related to the stats did not seem as important as it did not disrupt my reading even if I skim past them (or omit them entirely). I would suggest the author to tone down the technical stuffs to make more space for Flora’s other mischiefs and wholesome content, but that would take away a whole chunk of characterisation as the story seems to be focusing on her ability to create or repurpose items in-game.
All in all, it was an okay story. Rough around the edges, but a good read nonetheless. Keep up the good work, author, and don’t stop writing if you can help it. Good luck!
more mroe more more mroe more more mroe more more mroe more more mroe more more mroe more more mroe moremore mroe more more mroe more more mroe more more mroe more more mroe more more mroe more
This is Brandon Gould the writer of the Tylingariea Epic i am responding to a Review Swap i sent to you a while ago
here is my review:
i read all of the chapters aviable and i enjoyed it, my overall impression is that you have taken a lot of influnce from The Walking Dead and other Zombie like media and trops. with are not a bad thing when writting a Zombie book. but this is my opion if you stay to close to what has already been done before then that will not make you stand out from other Zombie/apolpose books. with again using things like the father and dauther. Twins/ may or may not be like the ones from the walking dead, saving the pepole that might be bitten at a place where the group is getting food or suplies.
maybe its just what i got out of it. but i did enjoy it what was here so far, i am just giving you a suggesten on something that i would do since you are rewritting it anyway.
I have been waiting for this novel for a long time?. This one is written by darkblue coconut juice, the author of night ranger. So we can be assured of its quality?.