I am up here in the attic listening but staying quiet. I can hear my dad arguing with someone about money that they owed him. A few minutes into that argument I hear my mom scream "NO DON'T". I hear a gun shot go off then mom is screaming. Another gun shot goes off and the screaming stops. I hear two men talking and walking around below me.
Biglang lumiwanag sa malapit sa tree of portal
"Yes, and since I'm the challenger, let me introduce myself." I release a little bit of pressure on the surroundings. "My name is Arah, an Omni-Magician." The surrounding plant and air shakes as I introduced myself.
This Novel needs some serious re writing. It is a classic example of someone writing a story synopsis to match a writing competition and still trying to make the synopsis/MC backstory seem relatable and exciting, only to then realize that it was a load of trash and will cripple the progress of their story as they don't know how to properly integrate the components. The author thus has a very thick face, makes many, many contradictory statements and events. MC winds up unrelatable and unrealistic considering his past. Case in point, the back story of the MC does not line up with his actions, he should have barely read anything in that huge library because a) it was huge, B) he was fighting for his life and recources all the time, c) he was a young man. He had neither the time nor mental acuity to digest the library's contents. In the authors own words the MC was average. Other than the bare necessity of Mana cultivation knowledge he should know nothing about alchemy, because a) in his original time there were next to no alchemy resources and thus no need to waste time on 'useless learning' , B) he would have little to no time to practice and experiment, which as even the author states, is absolutely necessary.In short this story is pushed ahead by its release date and general lack of glaring spelling and Grammer errors, thanks to some decent editors. Unfortunately they as well fail in the prime editing directive, which is to do more than just correct spelling and Grammer. A piece of software can do that much, they fail to correct the terrible inconsistencies found in this novel. This novel is a symptom of the worst of webnovel's glamour. And yet simply changing the MC from a 20 year old youth when he died to a 100-200 year old veteran wizard who had the time to absorb decent amounts of misc knowledge from the library turns the whole paradigm on its head. Will it require a lot of rewriting, yes. But it needs to happen nonetheless. In short, if the author want his novel to be anything more than a trashy joke then they need to seriously consider the overall novel balance and scope, otherwise this novel will slowly throttle itself to death in a mire of tangled and increasingly convoluted and contrived plots.
'Live, Grow, Expand'. Figures.
Me and my friend ran for our life.
Persephone was still passionately going on not noticing his discomfort, "And when he was nearly killed in the duel I-"
Jun Liu was just caressing the skin on NaNa's waist, but since NaNa didn't do anything to stop his action, Jun Liu continued the next step on his mind. Jun Liu was glad that his shirt that NaNa wore was big enough, so it was easy for him to lift the shirt.
"Miss, It's been a year since you came back. I'm suggesting it's time to go back" The man respectfully said and he just snap his finger and a few people enter the room and started cleaning the mess inside.
"Get away from me!" She was scared, he could see this by how fast she tried getting
Annie started sobbing slowly outside the room.
"Follow me."