"Alright moving on" Mina said cutting the scene "Now then Amai-san I asked Satou-kun to help you ease your fear of men by touring with him in his school festival that is coming in a month is that okay with the both of you?" Mina said
Snake looks at me. I look at him. I hesitate. "N" has seen all he needs to. He slides one foot beneath and shoves him off gently. "Seeing you haven't killed me yet, let's go inside for a word," he mumbles as he stuffs his hands in his pockets, withdraws a peppermint, and pops it in his mouth. He walks slouched over, hands deep in his pockets. He has strange eyes, but something tells me to trust him.
Lars adjusted his position to brace againts the incoming attack. When the punch almost reached his chest, Lars used both of his hand to redirect that attack to the ground, making Lars narrowly evaded that attack.
Wang Wei could do nothing but nod with a grim smile.
1 million views, which flatters me along with a load of comments asking for new chapters. Good news and bad news. Good news is that I will be writing once more, but the bad news is that my releases will probably not be more that once or twice a week and I won't necessarily be writing this one specifically.
Honest, objective review below. Total rating: [3.8 stars]Writing Quality: [4 stars]-Was a bit harsher on this section because you said that the beginning chapters were “edited”, so therefore, I had higher expectations.-Despite being edited, there are still dialogue tag mistakes. (e.g. “It depends on how powerful the target is." Xiao Taotao said. "The higher the…” should be "It depends on how powerful the target is," Xiao Taotao said, "The higher the…” notice the commas?) -There are also little mistakes with more comma placement and sentence flow (right in the first chapter, in case you didn’t know). This makes the writing style somewhat chunky and not as smooth to read. Also, there are parts where the characters are asking a question, but it’s not a question mark?? Tbh it made me doubt that the chapters you labeled as “edited” are edited at all… -Problems with adverbs placed in awkward locations too.-Some problems with tenses. As I can see, the majority of your story is in past tense, but there are occasionally a few phrases in present tense that you should work to avoid. It’s best to keep the story in one tense or the other. -A few run on sentences… -TL;DR: Pretty good for Webnovel standards, but there are still mistakes in the edited chapters. Stability of Updates: [5 stars]Pretty good and stable!Story Development: [4 stars]-Feels really similar to the manhua, “Goddess Creation System” in a lot of aspects. (e.g. “pretty points”, the fact that the more powerful the target is, the person gets more points…)-Info dumps whenever there’s a main mission could be incorporated in a smoother manner. Was quite bored when the first one came up. Pretty much skimmed through it and just saw a bunch of Zhou’s. -Flow of the story is pretty good though in general. Pacing is pretty smooth and doesn’t feel like dragging too much!-However, at around where I stopped reading (Chapter 34), it was because I got bored and kinda stopped. This part might be biased or something, but I liked it better before the romance really kicked in lmao.-Also highkey guessing the big boss final character is the creator. -TL;DR: Okay pacing, but also, not the most original idea to ever exist. Character Design: [3 stars]-I... don't know how I feel about Yunhua?? LMAO I honestly don't know. Maybe it's because I'm never a fan of systems because they overpower the FL too much, and even though I know that the entire point of the thing is to let Yunhua become "perfect" because it's a "Goddess System" for a reason, but at the same time, I also think that it's difficult to make her a well-balanced character. She's not too perfect, but I can barely spot any flaws in her character. Maybe just give me like a week to carefully analyze every single action Yunhua did in the story and I'll be able to figure something out, but just from reading through this story, all I'm really getting is that she has nice morals?? idk tbh. -Zhou Feng is kinda flat. Never really felt anything for his personality. I know that you're likely doing a spin on the "cold male lead" trope, but I'm not really seeing where the spin is coming in yet. -Zhao Meiliang seems to be kinda b*tchy for no reasons either. I’m getting pretty sick of evil female antagonists existing for the sole sake of being evil. I get that Meiliang is tired of her mother comparing her to Yunhua, but how shallow and spoiled is this character to be this way if it’s just because of that that Meiliang wants to ruin Yunhua’s future?? And Yunhua acts like she’s all smart and stuff, but she’s kinda dense to not notice what kind of person Meiliang is since she’s constantly quoting these “novels” that she read and stuff. -Also, real funny how after Zhao Meiliang exists the storyline, two other evil female antagonists from the Zhou family appear. -Points to Ni Ming for being a fairly young female character that's not an antagonist. -Grandmother died, but I never really felt anything for her death... but that's probably b/c I don't get emotional easily so I didn't take any points off for that. I think you did a good job describing Yunhua's emotions during the scene though-- it's probably because I don't really know how to place myself in Yunhua's shoes because again... I find it difficult to understand her character that made me kinda just read through that chapter with a flat face. -TL;DR: Would like to see more character development, flaws, and dynamics. World Background: [3 stars]-There's not much revealed about the world, but it seems like a typical novel setting, so I just gave an average three star rating. -Have no thoughts about the system because it seemed pretty genius when I was reading the Goddess Creation System manhua but now, reading this one where it's pretty similar, it didn't seem really new or anything to me. Overall, I do think that most Webnovel readers would like it, but I think it's just a no for me. Maybe I'll pick it up again if I have time, but it isn't binge reading material for me, if that makes sense?
He showed her a pinky room to her. When she looked at the room, she was obviously disliked the room. She steeped back and walked away from the door. She went to another room, it was Andrew's room. The combination of dark and brown, suited her taste!
She winked slyly at Kyouka.
Cavin placed his hands on his brother's shoulder "I know but first let us attend to our guests."
"They way you clawed her tits says otherwise,"
Ricebucket- his system's cliché, animated helper- was with him as he went through his first transmigration experience and mission. Unfortunately, he had transmigrated not as a male- no, his system couldn't be that simple- but as a female instead. The black lines that ran down his face could have painted a white piece of paper ink black.
Ryouma and Damien placed Visha on the ground before Arata, Eamon and Eva. Sitting on the ground, looking up at everyone, Visha crossed his arms and harrumphed as he pouted angrily. Arata chuckled at his friend's actions. Eamon's eyes flashed white as he looked over Visha before blinking and his eyes turning back to normal, a look of shock on his face.