I'm going to start directly: I read all your chapters already out at once because I really appreciated your idea. You have a really good writing style that improves throughout your writing. I have no negative criticism to make of you apart from that your characters are not described enough... But... I wonder if you are not doing it on purpose... Because, we notice in your last chapter that your character is very think about it so I'm almost sure that you're deliberately not describing certain characters too much to do it later (that's why I'm giving you 5 stars, hoping I'm not wrong). Anyway, Bravo, I'm happy to support a small novel creator, I hope he becomes popular!
The start of the story is quite interesting. This author has a great imagination and presents the story in a stable way. I just hope the quality remains good and this is not dropped.
This story has a very interesting narrative approach that allows the reader to delve into the life of Di Tou, a young man who considers his life boring and unremarkable. The writing is clear and effective, which makes it easy to immerse oneself in the story. The author's skill lies in his ability to take the reader through Di Tou's routine, making the story feel realistic and believable. A great job, it kept me entertained!P.S. stole this from supremearchmage
MC with average japanese isekai protagonist intelligence, all extras are the same.
i like this book can't wait to read for more chapter.
Any book that came from Pancakes is bound to be Good, especially like Glitched System and EoC.?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I generally have a rule that I don't review a story of less than 300 chapters, so reviewing one with less than 50 is a definite first.The easiest way for me to describe your story would be a diamond cut by an jeweler who will eventually become a master of his craft. It's somewhat rough and possesses some obvious flaws but it was obviously well thought out and executed to the best of your ability.If that sounds unpleasant go ahead and ignore it. The key part I want you to realize is that this is where you are now and I think you'll go far beyond it eventually. There is a semi-famous saying among writers that "your first million words are practice". This is part of that.I usually don't give targeted advice, because a.) it can be wrong and b.) sometimes you need to figure it out for yourself. I'll break that here because I have a lot of hope for the author you will grow into.First you need to understand the idiom of "Show, Don't Tell". Almost all of Myst's introduction was recounting what happened and consequentially was very passive. By just recanting what happened to him your not only not letting readers discover things and form their own opinions, your also creating a barrier that prevents them from caring about your characters. Readers care because they experience things with your characters.Second you need to work on your pacing. To be frank your story happened too damn fast. If you were where you are in the plot at closer to a hundred chapters in then you'd be better off. Characters get introduced and events happen at a break neck speed that if executed correctly would suck your readers in and have them captivated, but the flip side is that if the timing is off you leave your readers disoriented and wondering what just happened, confused about whether they should care about it.Your characters are exceptional though, even though they would benefit from better introductions and handling. Frankly you made the bold decision to introduce your MC from a point of failure, not just a low point in his life caused by external forces or 'fate' but one of his own making. This is exceptional, especially considering that most of what people put up here are masturbatory power fantasies as opposed to legitimate stories. You set your story apart with your characters and to a lesser degree your use of dialog.Keep writing, write a lot and write ahead if you can. Stories that rely on their characters to carry them need to update more often then stories that are moved by specifics of plot. Your readers read because they 'care', if there are large gaps in updates then you'll lose them.
Another great novel. hooked me from the first chapter itself. love the World setting, and characters... one piece fans would love to read it. Great work author. keep going. ????
Oh⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⡾⠏⠉⠙⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠉⠙⠲⡀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣴⠿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷ ⠀⠀⢠⣟⣋⡀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠀⣀⡀⣧⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⢸⣯⡭⠁⠸⣛⣟⠆⡴⣻⡲⣿⠀⣸⠀⠀OK⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⣟⣿⡭⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢱⠀⠀⣿⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⡇ ⠀⠀⠙⢿⣯⠄⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣶⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠘⠤⣄⣠⠞⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣷⡦⢤⡤⢤⣞⣁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣤⣴⣿⣏⠁⠀⠀⠸⣏⢯⣷⣖⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣾⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢲⣶⣾⢉⡷⣿⣿⠵⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣼⣿⠍⠉⣿⡭⠉⠙⢺⣇⣼⡏⠀⠀⠀⣄
The writing quality and development could be inproved updates need inprovment on background aswell as character design not bad cherten parts of the chapter could be vastlyinproved
Hey there! Here are some web novel recommendations for whom share the same taste with me. If you like this story, my recommendations are worth a try!https://docs.google.com/document/d/19R5KkqHOOHSMDkF4fHscVmxWcYGh0OntYsv8NglzsQo/edit?usp=sharing
What a wonderful love story ??? Well written. I Loooooveeee it! ???????????????????????????????????????????????????☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️