TLDR: Needs work but it is still better than most novels on WN. Don't pass it up!
This review will be written in three parts, first is an analysis of the story, second will be on the writing style, and third will be the conclusion.
Story:
Aside from some cliches, and a generic fantasy world, the story is quite enjoyable. Cliches are cliches because people like them, right?
I will completely look over the fact the author turned the MC into a 12-year-old boy, though, because it will provide the MC with four years to grow their pool of MP.
The MC used Fireball and Inspect, but when creating a "bo", no spell was used. It felt weird. Saying the MC used water magic, nature magic, fire magic, or earth magic (you get the point) without showing us how also comes off as lazy writing. It might be better to remove fireball completely if the author intends to have magic-users in this world directly influence the world by using mana rather than using 'spells'.
I do, however, like the fact that magic isn't learned like a list of spells in most novels like this. You have to get the spell right, and your mana takes care of the rest.
Within five chapters, the author skipped over the MC learning a lot of magic as well. There were several leaps in time where we could have gotten to know the main character and their new friend over another chapter or two, but that possibility was removed when several months or so were skipped.
Now, for the writing style:
As I say, with many of the novels here on WN, we need less telling and more showing. To explain quickly: using had/have/was will either be an easy way to avoid showing the reader what's happening, add unnecessary words to a sentence, or create sentences with less readability. So much telling.
The more 'glue' words in a sentence, the longer it is, and usually, the less information it provides to the reader.
Reading the MC speak and then move straight into internal monologue is pretty jarring, and there's no need to put extra thoughts within brackets and quotation marks when everything else is the MC's thoughts. Cutting out the thoughts within the internal monologue would make sense.
Many words could be replaced with much more impactful ones, sometimes making senses feel a little flatter.
A couple of times, the author used the present tense, and the novel is written primarily in the past tense. Using words such as 'now' or 'is' outside of dialogue can create a jarring moment.
Conclusion:
The Author is new to this, it's easy to see, but they have potential. The world they are creating is forming nicely, although slowly, throughout the chapters, and I enjoyed what I read. The main character could feel more his age since he was at least in his thirties, from what the prologue provided. With a decent amount of structural editing and copyediting, this novel could improve greatly. I would like to come back to this novel in the future and update my review with a more favourable one.
Really great book on my top 5 for sure, the only thing I would say I dont love is the pacing of the story, first I thought his cultivation speed was to slow, but then I realized that what was really slow was the time, I mean after 400 chapters or so only 1 year passed and countless events that made an empact on the universe happened, the universe being billions of years If I was the ruler of that universe I would think something terribly wrong is going on, In my humble opinion I think a time skip would make this story feel more ”realistic” and with a better flow.
When I read the first 50 chapters or so it felt like years passed but in reality it hasnt even been a week since he got the system.
Keep it up author
Author-san... You wrote an amazing novel. Why? Because I read somewhere that " A good book makes you want to live in the story. A great book gives you no choice " and it's true you've transported me to the world your mind made!! So cool! THANK YOU?❤️
Average isekai cultivation novel, not worth of your time unless you wanna waste it. It doesn't bring any novelty nor has amazing story telling, at best average.
What happens to my weekly chapter?? And why did the title change is something going on with the author?
it's really good, I wish you wouldn't put those locks in future chaps I really really like it
I quite liked it at first but then after it just became another necromancer book I dropped. I’m tired of seeing necromancers, every book has them now after solo leveling got popular. I like necromancy but it gets annoying when every single protagonist in gate dungeon it’s no longer cool. I was hoping this would be more original. But if you still haven’t gotten tired of necromancy then is a amazing novel to read!
The story is so slow, it takes several chapter to get a point across. We have not seen much of the main character only people view him as God. The main character's followers are similar to a cult and would die for him.
This is my first time writing a review so don't judge me. I am here to talk about this novel and I must say that it has a lot of potential and quite relatable at the same time, especially for students. Personally this would be my dream school and most likely everyone else's once they start reading. I highly recommend this to everyone but please don't criticize or judge my review if the novel doesn't meet your expectations, we all have our own preferences and my review is just based on the currently available chapters which is 20.Note for the author/translator:Keep up the good work and I hope this gets selected, the novel is really amazing and I highly appreciate it??✨
Great story and concepts fOr and interesting world. The definition of an overpowering main character but it is fun Vote for this to get picked
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Ew. The MC is the same pathetic and generic MC you’ll find in any urban novel, but he can buy thingsThat’s it