I do quite like the style you've got going here. It's quite descriptive and gives your reader a very vivid imagery of what is going on and gives their imagination enough food to imagine some small details themselves. Which is a good thing. Although, if I may add a small point of critique: I notice you have rather long paragraphs. In essence, there is nothing wrong with that, but quite a lot of people like shorter paragraphs, with dialogue laced through them to keep the story flowing. Rather than long paragraphs. I will admit you have shorter paragraphs near chapter 5, so I think you are on the right track! Keep up the good work!
