Here is some honest review of mine. The event was too direct and happens so quickly. The gaps and lines were way too much messy. I don't know what to say about this but I think it's natural for the gamer story liked this. Don't use much descriptions and long paragraphs that filled that pages completely. It could lead some readers into confusion. And try to use capital letter to every character when it's placed on the first part of the word. For example, "hm" instead "Hm, she's not that bad." And also, the plot was interesting which made this story to have a potential. No hard feelings, I love the story flow so far and it was good. You can keep up the good work! :3
