Okay, I have read this for the first time and I have to say, not the best, not the worst.
The english is functional, there are mistakes but not enough to kill someone. I'd say they are mostly the result of a lack or knowledge about english or it not being the authors first language.
The updates seem to be reasonable from what I can see in the table of contents, no problem there.
The movement of the story can be a quick at times but for the most part it's well paced. 5/5 on that, good job.
Character design is interesting, and I'm sure it'll get better as we spend more time around them. Some characters though they might come off as annoying could be redeemed with enough work and development.
Not much to say about world design. It's a got some good ideas behind it and has the potential to go above and beyond.
All in all, good stuff, keep up the good work.
Requested by Murphy.
