I think writer should elaborated on things, make details and re-read what your write and adding some word that make reader interesting in them. Theres so many cultivation story out there, compare your writing, to me, your writing is just 2.5 but your story, OMG! I give full mark for them coz I juz got hook by the background story.... well done for that. This is not criticism but a constructive comment based on what I read. Sorry if u hurt and thank U for this story! Keep on it! Good work! U juz need Xperience, so just write. Cheers!!