The writing style is tell don't show, plot armor is thicker than a bunker buried a mile deep, and the author doesn't care to ask themselves what we the readers might like to know or even need to know...If you want a brainless read this is alright but make sure you actually turn off your brain cause otherwise you'll be frustrated.If the author ever reads this my advice is to do a major rewrite of the whole story. Get a friend who reads a lot to read though the work and point out what you can do better and work on your craft. This could, and I'll repeat COULD, be good if more effort was put into it. Most stories become good in the rewrite.The first time you write it it's a rough draft. The second time it's okay...About the third time it's good and worth people's attention.
