The entire sentence structure is a mess. I wasn't even able to read through the first paragraph. The author really needs to correct the sentences. I am not trying to be a grammar Nazi. I am simply saying to correct the sentence structure, make it readable please. Add colon's, quotation marks, paragraph breaks etc. The style of writing choosen is 3rd person narrative, but it kinda goes around the curve on most sentences. I am looking forward to see where this goes, if the author cleans up.
