Very interesting!
Writing quality: Very good actually, couldn't find errors, lots of vocabulary and nice sentence structure.
Story development: *little spoiler so beware*
Mc plays a game then doze off to find himself in that game. There are many like him and some even before. In the game they need to pay a loan and that's all otherwise it's gonna be a full-scale spoiler.
character design: Yeah basic like every new novel. No uniqueness but that's ok
updating stability: Yeah I think this one there's no need to say anything
World background: Interesting premises, I read something rather similar where everyone kinda have an island for themselves but its dropped so I think that author is not even gonna know but yeah the background kinda similar.
A lot of potential so I hope it gets picked