The pace of the plot is moving too quickly, much like in the first chapter. Before diving into the story, it would be helpful to establish the world's backstory, provide descriptions of the protagonist's parents, and introduce the location where he was bullied. While the writing and grammar are strong, the rapid progression makes it difficult to connect with the character's development and the intensity of his hardships. Add a chapter exploring the bullying experience that could help to build empathy and showcase the protagonist's determination to overcome those hardship. Despite these areas for improvement, the story has great potential. Keep up the excellent work dear author
