Hamari Fairytale { Currently Under Edit} - Reviews

Hamari Fairytale { Currently Under Edit}
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What a beautiful story. More please ...️
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Pursuit of the Truth, Renagade Immortal, I Shall Seal the Heavens, A Will Eternal. i dont know what to say just add to library. but 2 chp per week dude thats a torture.
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Yes! Very good, congratulations, keep it up, I'm looking forward to reading more of this story, have my support, good luck and stay strong???
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I tried. I really did try to read through this. A sci-fi reincarnation story? I really wanted one to add to my library, but this is bad. 1. For the first 3 chapters, there is no explanation. Just full-on action, where you don't know what is going on. Some of the names and terms are used interchangeably, so you can't even keep a consistent track of what you could understand.2. The story definitely needs an editor.3. When you finally reach chapter 4, and you figure you'll get something slow paced, it suddenly feels as if the character is overpowered. There is no brakes to it.4. In almost every sentence of chapter 4, the author uses the character names over and over. Like in a first POV, someone used "I" all the time. It's like the word "he" was limited to 5 a chapter. 5. Overall, it's quite easy to tell the author is a bad writer. There are a lot of mistakes. And I would give him/her the benefit of the doubt if it weren't that they were also a bad storyteller from as far as I could tell at 3.5 chapters in.
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The story is really good. The characters are well developed and the author gave us plenty of background information. However, the sentence structure tends to fall apart and the pronouns tend to get mixed up, not to mention the past or present tense in some sentences will give you a headache. And to top it off the author went the privileged chapters route after only 130 chapters.
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Then he looked again at that mysterious gate in the distance and was surprised to see skeletons start to wander towards him out of it.
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-At 26 years old he married the most beautiful woman but before he could make a family with her , his brother asked him to meet him after the wedding to "congratulate" him.
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        Hindi na nagseatbelt ang dalawa. In-adjust agad ni Raimer ang upuan pahiga. Nahihilo pa rin kasi talaga siya kaya ipinikit nalang ang mga mata.
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Xenon:pamilya natin ate:)
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Magsasalita pa sana ang binata nang tumunog ang cellphone ng dalaga.
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Wait, his ki is gathering in his right arm. It seems that he realized that in a physical combat even being stronger, he can't defeat my technique and has decided to throw me energy.
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"Beeeeh"

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