Hello, this is my first book and I am getting better with each chapter. Either way, just because I wrote it does not mean I will not judge it fairly. I do think I could do better on telling more visual details, and yes I know it is focused a lot on the system for now however that is just so you can see his growth, that will be brought down a lot eventually. Other than describing visuals, I think I am doing pretty well. If you think I am wrong please leave comments or something on how I can do better. I look forward to hearing from you.