In the beginning it was church now it jump to exploring the universe which then leads to a crowd of side characters gathered together, the MC isn't really introduced all that much, the only thing we know is his nameA beauty introduced into first chapter but its not a "jade" beauty along with a lot of inspiration from other worksit can engage a reader who isn't all that curious and want to waste time. Even the outlines of bolding words, exclamation points (!) actually feel like we're inside the author creation.Although the mona building isn't really describe how big it is until a few chapters later.I would say as someone who spent the first few chapters reading it can really engage you to a world of likable fantasy.Some scenes like magician ones could using clapping to draw attention of the background character in front of them or those around them when they're yelling/scolding others for mistakesHowever in chapter two there is 2 random bolded texts that were suppose to be inaudible, what is this about?In chapter 3, romance is in the works. This kind of engages more plotline depends on how you view/build itI like how you introduced assassins who hide with cloaks on.I get your trying to switch povs a lot, I think labeling that pov from side pov to MC pov may be a good idea to not confuse readersOther than the first few chapters in, you are doing well so for on your novel.
